


It Takes a Village

by jujus_writing_corner



Category: Real Person Fiction, Youtube RPF
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Baby Yandereplier, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, again just a little bit, each chapter will have a summary so ye, mostly this is silly heartwarming fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:32:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujus_writing_corner/pseuds/jujus_writing_corner
Summary: After Bim and Wilford go too far with their magic, Yandereplier is accidentally turned into a baby. It's eventually going to wear off, but until then, the egos are responsible for taking care of Yandere. When all is said and done, they might know Yandere–and each other–a little better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a while, and while it's not completely done, I hope to update this regularly until it's finished! I plan to update once a week, but that could become more frequent if I get impatient.
> 
> Anyhow, enjoy Chapter 1 of Yandereplier being babey! The trouble has to start somewhere, after all :3c

The day is entirely normal until Dark hears voices coming from outside his closed office door.

Well, to be more accurate, it was normal until five or ten minutes before then, but for Dark, the day doesn’t become anything special until he hears two people arguing in not-hushed-enough whispers from outside his office. Ordinarily, Dark might not even care to listen, but the very first words he hears catch his attention immediately:

“Well, who’s gonna tell him?” says a voice, low and drawled out. Wilford, no doubt, trying to be quiet but only managing a stage whisper.

“Not me, are you kidding??” replies another, higher and a little shrill with nerves. Trimmer. “He’d kill me where I stand. You have to tell him!”

“But I’m always getting in trouble,” Wilford huffs, “And it was probably you who did it anyway.”

Dark wonders what “it” could possibly be.

“W-we don’t know that!” Bim sputters, “It was probably you! And anyway, Dark’s used to hearing bad news from you. It’ll be easier for him to take that way.”

Dark will be the judge of that, thank you.

“Fine, fine, I’ll tell him,” Wilford mutters, “But you’re holding this one while I do it, and don’t come in until I’ve told him already.”

“Alright, then, give me–” Sounds of shuffling. “Okay, now…let’s get this over with.”

“Says the one not telling him.”

A moment passes, and then, predictably, Dark hears a knock on the door.

“Just come in Wilford,” Dark sighs, unlocking the door with a flick of his aura.

Wilford opens the door and bounces in as Bim curses from outside. Even with the door open he’s out of sight, and he doesn’t follow Wilford in. Dark wonders exactly what he’s holding that’s so bad.

“Heya, Darky!” Wilford says, standing in front of Dark’s desk, flashing a classic Warfstache grin. “Sooooo…here’s the thing.”

“Go on.” Dark stays seated at his desk, leveling a hard stare at Wilford.

“Well, Bim and I were having one of our magic-offs, you know, and–”

“Wait, your what?” Dark interrupts.

“Magic-offs!” Wilford exclaims. “You know, when we compete with each other over who has the best reality-bending? I’d say our magic-offs cause half the craziness in the studio.”

“I thought everyone knew about those…” Bim whispers from the hall.

“Anyway.” Dark’s eyebrow twitches. “What happened during your…magic-off?”

“So, as it often happens,” Wilford explains, “One particular bit of magic, probably from Trimmer if we’re being honest–”

“Hey!”

“–happened to go awry, and someone else happened to be there, and–”

“Wilford, get on with it already,” Dark snaps. “I don’t have all day to listen to you go in circles around the point.”

“Yeah, Wil,” Bim puts in, no longer trying to be quiet but still not coming in, “Besides, you-know-who’s starting to get squirmy.”

“Really, Wilford,” Dark adds, “It’s not like you to beat around the bush like this.” Half the time, Wilford almost seems eager to reveal his latest escapade. But even he can tell when his shenanigans have gone too far, it seems.

Dark would know for sure if Wilford would spit it out already.

“Alright, fine!” Wilford yells, “I guess I’ll just come out and say it.” He takes in a deep breath. “Yandere was there, and he got turned into a baby.”

There’s a pause.

“…What?” Dark asks, standing and glaring at Wilford.

“It was an accident, I swear!” Wilford cries, throwing his hands up. “But yeah, that’s pretty much what happened.”

“Wil, can I bring him in how?” Bim calls from outside. Small, whining sounds can be heard under his voice. “He’s getting really irritated with–ow! Hey! Quit it, that’s my hair–”

“Just come in already, Trimmer,” Dark growls, aura starting to whir around him.

Bim practically yelps and scurries in through the open door to join Wilford. Dark’s ringing heightens in pitch until Bim and Wilford both wince.

Sure enough, haphazardly held in Bim’s arms is a baby version of Yandere.

Dark has no idea how old exactly he might be; he’s as small and chubby as any baby Dark’s ever seen, though he’s not wrinkly and bug-eyed like a newborn. His hair is fluffy as always but dark all over, without a hint of red dye in his bangs. His eyes are the same chocolate brown, and his clothes, luckily, seem to have shrunk along with him. Truly, he looks like a miniature version of his normal self, but he certainly isn’t acting like one. He’s squirming and whining in Bim’s grasp, with one tiny hand yanking at Bim’s hair.

Dark stares at Yandere for a long moment and glares at Wilford and Bim for a longer moment, processing the situation. Wilford is more sheepish than anything, and Bim is fearful, though his fear is marred somewhat as Yandere’s struggling distracts him.

“Can’t you hold him right, Bim?” Wilford asks him, breaking the silence between the adults.

“Look, I’ve never exactly–ow–had to hold a baby before,” Bim grumbles, “Besides–ow–Yan’s been weird since you gave him to me–ow!”

“How exactly are you planning to fix this?” Dark interjects, voice tight with frustration. Yandere turns his head towards Dark’s voice, momentarily leaving Bim’s hair alone.

“Well, that’s the thing…” Wilford begins, “See, we don’t really know whose magic did this, and we don’t know how to fix it.”

“But he’ll probably go back to normal soon!” Bim puts in, clearly trying to soften the blow. “We just have to wait for it to wear off.”

Dark’s dealt with many, many ridiculous mishaps, but this is the closest he thinks he’s come to actually having a stroke right here in his office.

“Are you honestly telling me,” he grounds out, “That you idiots have managed to turn my boyfriend into a baby, and you have no idea how to change him back, or how long this spell will take to wear off on its own?”

“Pretty much exactly that, yes,” Wilford replies.

Dark is seconds from sending both Wilford and Bim to his void for an indefinite amount of time when Yandere starts to babble.

Instead of pulling Bim’s hair, he reaches out both tiny hands towards Dark, making a series of high-pitched, insistent noises. Despite no longer actively fighting against Bim, he’s leaning so far forward in his effort that Bim begins to have an even harder time holding him.

“Um, I think he wants you to hold him, Dark,” Bim says.

Dark sighs.

“Ahm!” Yandere cries, “Ahmie!”

“Is…is he trying to say ‘Yami’?” Wilford asks, holding in laughter.

“Ahm!!” Yandere repeats, louder this time.

Dark sighs again.

“Fine, give him to me,” Dark mutters, holding out his arms.

Bim gratefully gives Yandere up, and Dark holds the baby up against his chest, with one hand on his back. Yandere looks up at him adoringly, cooing and reaching up, throwing his chubby arms around Dark’s neck.

“My scalp hurts,” Bim whines, rubbing his head where Yandere pulled his hair, “He probably gave me a bald spot…”

“Now what, Darky?” Wilford asks.

“I’m calling a meeting,” Dark says, “The others obviously have to know about this.” His eyes narrow. “I’ll also be determining a suitable punishment for you both.” Bim audibly gulps. “Go on to the conference room while I send out a memo.”

“Sure thing, Darky!” says Wilford, apparently back to his chipper self despite the threat of imminent punishment, bouncing out the door.

“Life was nice while it lasted, I guess…” Bim laments, trailing behind Wilford and somehow remembering to shut the door behind him.

Dark sighs yet again as he sits back in his office chair to send out the memo, setting Yandere on his lap and holding him there with one arm as he types. Yandere’s continuous gurgling pauses for a moment, and Dark looks down to see the baby apparently mesmerized by Dark’s rapidly typing fingers. Despite the frustration and rage and headache already forming deep in his brain, Dark can’t help but smile a little.

As he hits send for the memo, he bends down and kisses the top of Yandere’s head. Yandere squeals and squirms with delight. He cranes his head back to look at Dark’s face, flashing a chubby-cheeked smile. He reaches his arms up.

“Mo’ giss! Mo’ giss!” he exclaims, trying to grab at Dark’s face and pull him down.

Well, how could Dark say no to that? It’s not like anyone’s around to see him.

He spends the next few minutes giving Yandere more kisses on his crown, forehead, and cheeks, and watching the baby’s over-the-top reactions. The continuous kisses have Yandere practically shrieking with joyful giggles. The noise would annoy Dark if it came from any other baby, but he can’t help but find it cute in Yandere. Yandere, for his part, is so happy that he’s still giggling when Dark teleports them both to the meeting room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark holds a meeting to inform the other egos of what happened to Yandere and figure out where to go from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long week waiting to post, but I'm trying to pace myself with this story ^^ I hope this is worth the wait!

By the time Dark teleports to the meeting room, the other egos have just finished arriving. His aura shrouds around Yandere, keeping him obscured. Even Dark has to admit that Bim and Wilford had the right idea by explaining the situation before showing him Yandere, and Dark knows that if the others saw Yandere first, instant pandemonium would ensue.

“What’s going on, Dark?” Silver Shepherd asks, a note of concern in his voice.

“More importantly, watcha got there?” Ed Edgar asks, pointing at the swirl of black smoke concealing the bundle in Dark’s arms.

Yandere is quiet right now, apparently satisfied with the attention Dark gave him earlier. Only Dark can see him sitting contentedly in his arms, somehow perfectly fine with the black smoke surrounding him and blocking his vision of everything but Dark. Even as a baby, he still seems very much the same old Yandere.

“We currently have…” Dark explains, “…a very strange situation to deal with.”

“Don’t we always?” Dr. Iplier quips.

“What did Wilford do this time?” Google asks.

“What? Me??” Wilford asks dramatically.

“Yes, you,” Google says, “Every strange situation that happens around here is at least partly your fault, and you’ve been sitting here since before we showed up looking like you have a big secret you want to tell.”

“Well, all of that is true, yes,” Wilford concedes.

“It was Wilford,” Dark says, “And Bim as well. They were apparently having a…‘magic-off’.”

The meeting room fills with a quiet chorus of agreement, and Dark can hear snippets of “mm-hmm” and “I should’ve guessed” and other such statements floating around the room.

“You and your magic-offs,” Dr. Iplier sighs, “You two are gonna kill somebody one of these days.” He pauses. “That is, if that’s not already what we’re here to talk about.”

“Am I really the only one who didn’t know about those?” Dark mutters.

“…Dark asks, annoyed both with himself and the group at large,” The Host chimes in, narrating just loud enough to be heard, “It occurs to him that the Host is relatively omniscient and therefore may already know the answer to his question. That assumption is true.” The Host smiles. “Dark’s original statement is also true.”

“Continue on that path, Host,” Dark growls, “And you can join Wilford and Bim in the punishment they’re getting for what they’ve done.”

“What _have_ they done?” Silver asks.

“According to them,” Dark explains, “One of their magic blasts went out of control. Yandereplier was in the studio with them, and the blast hit him.”

“What??” Dr. Iplier asks, now serious. “What happened to him? Is he okay??”

“He appears well,” Dark says, “But he’s been…altered.”

“Geez, Dark,” Wilford huffs, “And you yelled at me for not getting to the point.”

“Is that what your aura’s covering up?” Google asks, peering at the black orb more closely.

“The Host, due to his narrative abilities, already knows that Googleplier is correct,” Host says, “In fact, he may or may not already know exactly what Dark’s aura is concealing, and may or may not accidentally reveal what that is if Dark does not explain it himself in a timely manner.”

“That’s strike two, Host,” Dark says, voice low and tight, “I’d strongly advise against getting to strike three.”

Host stops his narration, and the other egos quiet, all appropriately unnerved by the threat.

“As I was _saying_ ,” Dark continues, “Wilford and Bim have accidentally turned Yandere…into a baby.”

No amount of decorum could make that sentence any less ridiculous.

While the others are silent in a moment of shock, Dark unveils his aura from Yandere, giving everyone a perfect view of the baby in his arms. Yandere turns to look at everyone else now that he can see them, staring at the table of people with big, curious eyes. His eyes quickly land on Dr. Iplier, and his little face lights up.

“Dada! Dada!” he exclaims, pointing at Dr. Iplier with one hand and excitedly waving the other.

The first one to react to the display is Dr. Iplier, who, after staring at Yandere with an indecipherable expression, slowly lowers his head until his forehead is resting on the conference table.

“Uh, Doc?” asks Silver, clearly concerned.

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Iplier says, muffled by the table, “I’m dying.”

The Host snickers.

“Don’t make fun of me,” Dr. Iplier mumbles without looking up.

“The Host isn’t,” Host replies, still chuckling.

“What _are_ you doing?” Google asks with some disdain.

“I’m trying to process how adorable Yandere is right now,” Dr. Iplier answers, “Let me live.”

“How’d you guys even do this??” Silver asks Wilford and Bim, jaw dropped.

“No idea!” Wilford says brightly.

“If we did we’d have changed him back already,” Bim adds, “But we don’t, so…”

“…We have to wait for the spell to wear off on its own,” Dark finishes.

There’s another moment of quiet as everyone looks at Yandere, who has gone back to observing the room, and starts to contemplate what it will be like having a baby in Ego, Inc. for the foreseeable future.

“…You know,” Ed Edgar begins, “I could–”

 _“Absolutely not,”_ Dr. Iplier says immediately, sitting back up in an instant to glare at Ed.

“I wasn’t gonna say to sell ‘im!!” Ed cries.

“Yes you were, Ed,” Silver says, resigned but not unkind.

“Okay, well, I was,” Ed admits, “But look, if y’all think about–”

“We are _not_ selling Yandere,” Dark snaps, “We are taking care of him until this spell wears off.”

“What ‘we’?” asks Google. “Yandere is young and dependent but he is clearly not a newborn. He hardly needs a dozen people to take care of him.”

“That’s true, but Dark has a point,” Dr. Iplier puts in, “This building isn’t exactly baby-proof. We _all_ need to take responsibility for our living spaces and make them safe for Yandere. He may be a baby, but he might be able to walk and run. And babies are _fast_. If there’s a room he wants to get into or a shelf he wants to climb, he’ll be there in the blink of an eye.” He shakes his head. “He’s so much more fragile like this. He may still be a figment, but this isn’t the form the fans know. If he gets hurt, or God forbid, _killed_ , who knows how long it’d take him to come back from it, if he ever came back from it at all?”

A sobering silence settles over the room.

“Way to kill the mood, Doc,” Wilford mutters, “We could’ve just enjoyed having a cute baby around, but _noooooo._ ”

“Hey, I’m plenty happy to have a cute baby around,” Dr. Iplier replies, “But babies aren’t all smiles and rainbows.” He grins wryly. “They mostly are, though.”

“I suppose this means you can be the one who cares for Yandere directly?” Dark suggests.

“Of course,” Dr. Ipleir answers, “He’s already my son; I would've suggested it if you hadn't.”

“Then please, take him,” Dark says, holding him out, “He moves too much.”

He’s also heavier than Dark imagined a baby would be, and is starting to make his arms hurt, but Dark isn’t about to admit that.

Dr. Iplier stands and leans over the table to take Yandere, who giggles happily as he realizes who he’s being handed to. Dr. Iplier’s eyes turn soft as he holds Yandere close.

“Hello there,” he murmurs, sitting back down and setting Yandere on his lap.

“Dada!” says Yandere, all smiles.

“Yes, I’m Dada,” Dr. Iplier replies, unable to help smiling back, “And you’re Yan.” He gently taps the tip of Yandere’s nose.

“Ahn!” Yandere exclaims.

“Yes!” Dr. Iplier praises, kissing Yandere’s forehead, “Good job, Yan.”

Yandere squeals, then begins bouncing in Dr. Iplier’s lap.

“Giss ‘gain! Giss ‘gain!” Yandere shouts.

“Alright, alright,” Dr. Iplier laughs, giving Yandere more kisses.

The others watch with varying degrees of charmed stares, except Dark, who is absolutely not even a little bit jealous.

From there, the meeting moves on, discussing how best to babyproof the building and where to get supplies. Despite starting the conversation, Dr. Iplier doesn’t contribute much. Instead, he holds Yandere on his lap, talking to him softly and pointing to each ego, asking for their name.

“Whooooo’s that?”

“Ost!”

“Good job! Whooooo’s…that?”

“Sibew!”

“Close enough! Whooooo’s…that?”

“Bim!”

“Oh, wow. Great job, kiddo, I wasn’t expecting you to get one completely right.”

Yandere smiles, clearly proud of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doc is the best dad, you cant change my mind ;w;


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Iplier takes responsibility for Yandere's care, but he still has a clinic to run. That means taking care of MarkBop when him and Bingiplier come in after a skateboard trick gone awry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry about the summary, it really ain't that serious lmao. But now that Yandere is confirmed babey, everyone's gonna get a turn to see him, starting with Bing and Bop!
> 
> Enjoy!

It doesn’t take very long for news of Yandere’s condition to spread around Ego, Inc. Everyone in the meeting quickly spreads the strange event to those who aren’t–aside from Bim and Wilford, who are getting an extended stay in Dark’s void for causing the mess in the first place. Ed is there for a few hours as well after he pushes the idea of selling Yandere for the third time, but is brought back out when the others realize that he probably has a bunch of baby supplies they can use. And that he does, which results in a crib, changing table, and other assorted tools and toys getting moved into Dr. Iplier’s bedroom and the clinic. Although Dr. Iplier takes his role as Yandere’s caregiver seriously, he isn’t about to stop his practice. He can’t, anyway; the other egos are always getting hurt.

Case in point, after Yandere’s only been a baby for a couple days, Bing comes into the clinic supporting MarkBop, whose head is sporting a terrible bruise and swelling lump.

“What did you guys get into this time?” Dr. Iplier asks as they walk in. Yandere stares at them from Dr. Iplier’s hip, mumbling baby babble. Despite the situation, both Bing and Bop are staring at him with obvious curiosity.

“There was this trick I tried,” Bop begins, sounding as bad as he looks, “It didn’t, um, really work…”

“I might have egged him on a bit and stuff,” Bing admits.

Dr. Iplier sighs. Scolding them wouldn’t do much good now, and Bing already seems guilty enough, so he gestures them to come with him to an examination table.

“Well, you clearly hit your head,” Dr. Iplier says to Bop as he sits on the table, “Anything else you hurt?”

“I don’t think so,” Bop says, “I mean, I have a few scrapes and stuff, but nothing as bad as my head.”

“Okay then, let’s take a look.” Dr. Iplier turns to Bing. “Can you hold Yan while I take care of Bop?”

“Oh, man,” Bing says, grimacing, “I, uh, don’t think that’s a good idea, Doc. I don’t know about babies and stuff.”

“You’re connected to the internet; just look up how to hold him,” Dr. Iplier tells him, “That’s all I need you to do. Otherwise Yan’ll have to go in his playpen, and he gets antsy when I’m away from him too long. Please?”

Bing looks from Dr. Iplier to Yandere, who’s regarding him with curiosity and big brown eyes. Bing has to admit; he’s pretty adorable.

“Alright, sure, just for a minute,” Bing relents, taking Yandere from Dr. Iplier.

“Great, thanks!” Dr. Iplier says, before turning to pull on gloves and examine Bop.

Both Bing and Bop look at Yandere, who almost seems surprised that Dr. Iplier isn’t holding him anymore. He twists around in Bing’s grip to try looking behind himself at Dr. Iplier’s back.

“Dada?”

“You’re okay, hon,” Dr. Iplier says, giving Yandere a quick smile over his shoulder. “Bing’s gonna hold you for a minute.”

Yandere turns back to look at Bing.

“Bim?”

“Nah, little dude, wrong ego,” Bing answers. “It’s Bing.”

“Bimmh.”

“Binggg.”

“Bimguh!”

“Alright, “A” for effort, dude,” Bing says. He can’t help but grin. “He’s mad cute, Doc.”

“Don’t I know it,” Dr. Iplier replies, not looking up as he gently palpates Bop’s injury.

“Can he–ow–say my name?” Bop asks.

“Maybe,” says Bing. He looks at Yandere. “Alright, little dude, say ‘Bop’!”

“Bah.”

“Almost. Bop!”

“Bah!”

“Babies that young drop consonants a lot,” Dr. Iplier puts in, “I think Bim’s name is the only one he can get totally right.”

“Makes sense,” Bing muses. He looks back up to Bop. “So, like…what now?”

“Well, in terms of Bop’s condition,” Dr. Iplier says, “I don’t think we’re looking at anything more serious than a concussion. There’s no external bleeding or any sort of fracture that I can find, and considering you’re still conscious, Bop, I doubt there’s any internal bleeding, either.”

“So, what are you gonna do?” Bop asks.

“I’m going to get you some ice for this, first of all, and you’re gonna rest in the clinic for a few hours.”

“Aww, c’mon Doc,” Bing whines, “We were–”

“Giving each other concussions?” Dr. Iplier finishes with a withering stare. “Like I said, a concussion’s the only potential issue I can see, and the best way to figure out how severe it may be is to monitor it. And even if it turns out to be minor, rest is the best form of treatment. Bop’s going to bed here and I’m giving him an ice pack, and that’s final.”

“Alright, alright,” Bing relents. He pauses. “Can you take Yan back now?”

“Actually, I was getting to that,” Dr. Iplier says, “Can you keep holding him while I get Bop situated? He seems to be doing alright, anyway.”

“I guess so,” Bing says, looking down at Yan, “I’m still worried I’m gonna drop him.”

“You won’t,” Dr. Iplier replies, “Otherwise Bop won’t be the only one in need of medical attention, and I don’t mean Yan.”

“Uh, cool, cool,” Bing squeaks. Yandere giggles.

Still, though, Bing has to admit that holding a baby isn’t as tough as he’d imagined. He follows Dr. Iplier as he gets Bop into a clinic bed and gives him an ice pack, and Yandere seems comforted enough by the doctor’s presence to not squirm at all. Bing’s mechanical arms are so strong and Yandere is so light that he might as well be holding a throw pillow. Not to mention how cute Yandere’s nonsensical babblings are.

“Okay,” Dr. Iplier says when he finally has Bop settled, “I can take him back. I told you it wouldn’t be too long.”

“Oh, sure.” Bing is almost reluctant to hand him back now.

Yandere is handed back to Dr. Iplier, and his demeanor changes immediately. He’s so overjoyed that he practically bounces in Dr. Iplier’s arms.

“Dada!”

“You were only out of my arms for a minute, you silly thing,” Dr. Iplier chuckles, kissing the top of Yandere’s head. Yandere giggles and grabs onto Dr. Iplier’s coat. Bing can’t help but grin, especially when he catches sight of Bop’s absolutely starstruck smile at how cute the scene is. Baby Yandere may be cute, Bing thinks, but Bop is way cuter.

After a moment though, Dr. Iplier’s smile suddenly drops, and he sighs.

“Oh boy, a lot of patients are about to come in,” he says.

“How do you know?” Bop asks, puzzled.

“I just know,” Dr. Iplier says, “My hunches are never wrong. I gotta put Yan in his playpen…”

“Well, hey,” Bing interjects, “Maybe I could keep watching him or something.”

“Really?” Dr. Iplier asks. He looks surprised, but his expression quickly melts into a wry grin. “So you decided you _want_ to hold him now?”

“Look man, he’s cute as shit–”

“Don’t swear, he’s too little to hear that.”

“Sorry, anyway, he’s wicked cute, and he doesn’t seem too grumpy or anything, so it wouldn’t be too bad.”

“I don’t mind hanging around with him, either,” Bop puts in, “Bing’s right, he’s pretty cute.”

“Babies are more than just cute, you know,” Dr. Iplier points out, but his smile is more genuine now. “Alright, I’ll give him to you guys instead of putting him in his playpen. Having him with you might actually help you stay awake, Bop, as long as you can still rest well.”

“I bet I can!” Bop replies.

“Well, then, I guess I’ll give Yan back to you, Bing,” Dr. Iplier says, holding Yandere out to him. “His playpen’s at the front of the clinic and you can put him in there if he gets fussy, but I’ll try to come back soon.”

“Sounds rad!” Bing says, taking Yandere back. Yandere, for his part, gets a confused look on his face, like he doesn’t know why he’s changing hands again so soon.

“Dada?” he asks.

“Sorry, honey, I have to work,” Dr. Iplier says, leaning down to give Yandere a parting kiss on the head. “I’ll see all three of you later.”

“Bye, Doctor, and thanks,” Bop says with a wave.

“Bye, Doc!” Bing says. He looks at Yandere. “Say “bye,” little dude!”

“Bye-bye, Dada,” Yandere says, clearly not completely on board with the situation just yet.

Dr. Iplier goes off just in time to meet with the incoming human patients, and Bing and Bop spend the next twenty minutes playing with Yandere. The baby quickly loses his apprehension and returns to his exuberant, giggly self.

“Dude, what if _we_ had a baby?” Bing asks Bop as Yandere sits on Bop’s clinic bed, grabbing at Bop’s feet through the sheets with a strangely concentrated look on his face.

“Oh man,” Bop laughs nervously, “I mean, that’s not possible, first of all, but…” He shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “I don’t know, Bing. I doubt we’re cut out for that. Maybe eventually, if we somehow found a baby figment or something?”

“Maybe!” Bing says brightly. He smiles at Bop and leans closer to him. “I’d probably die of cuteness on the reg, though. You’re already cute enough for me by yourself.”

“Oh, geez,” Bop stammers, cheeks turning red, “You’re so cheesy, Bing!”

Still, he happily lets Bing kiss him anyway as Yandere continues to grab at his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I write about Bing and Bop I get a new cavity from the sweetness, I swear ;w;


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In anticipation of a busy day at the clinic, Dr. Iplier gives Yandere to Google Chrome to watch over for the day. Chrome isn't exactly enthused to be on babysitting duty, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for the robois! Mostly Chrome, though. I love my angry red robot son.
> 
> Also, sorry I'm posting later in the day than usual! I was doing something doing the usual time I'd post and then I just. Kept forgetting. But it's here now ^^"
> 
> Enjoy!

“Really?”

“Look, Chrome, I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t desperate, but I really need your help on this one.”

Chrome hadn’t expected today to be taken up by babysitting Yandere while Dr. Iplier deals with an influx of patients, but that appears to be what fate has in store for him now.

“How do you even know you’ll be getting so many patients, anyway?” Chrome huffs.

“Why do people keep asking me that? I’m a doctor, I know what’s best.” Dr. Iplier says it like it’s obvious. “I can’t keep track of Yandere while I take care of people, and I’d rather him not see anything violent.”

“Do you _know_ Yandere, Doctor?”

“I do, but he’s still a baby right now, and I don’t want to traumatize him. Besides, what are you so resistant for? Yandere’s your friend; you two have been friends longer than he’s been my son, even.”

“Babies are…” Chrome searches his database for the best way to describe how he feels about babies. “…the worst examples of humanity.” That sounds about right. Dr. Iplier sighs.

“Come on, Chrome,” Dr. Iplier pleads, “He may be a baby, but he’s still Yan. I’m not about to barge into Dark’s office and make him take care of a baby, and we both know it’d be a bad idea to let Wilford watch him. You’re the best option here.”

Chrome considers. Work on his projects as planned and let Dr. Iplier deal with Yandere? Or spend the day looking after a fragile, stupid, and disgusting tiny human?

Yandere looks at him from Dr. Iplier’s arms and smiles widely, cooing and babbling at him, apparently trying to communicate.

 _Fuck,_ Chrome thinks.

“Fine,” he mutters, “But only this time.”

“Thanks, Chrome, you’re a life-saver,” Dr. Iplier says, grinning with relief. He hands Yandere to Chrome, who holds him with tense arms. “I’d tell you how to feed him or what to do if he starts crying, but considering you’re a walking search engine, I think you’ll do fine on your own devices. Here’s a bag of stuff you’ll need, toys and diapers and things. I’ll be back when I can!”

Within a moment, Dr. Iplier has left, and Chrome is left standing in the doorway of the control room with Yandere in his arms and a bag–no, a _diaper bag_ –full of baby supplies on his shoulder.

“Aga!” Yandere says brightly, reaching up to touch Chrome’s face.

“It’s Aka,” Chrome says, turning his face away from Yandere’s hands.

“Aga!”

“A _ka_.”

“Aga!”

“You’ll be here all day doing that, Red.”

Chrome turns to see Oliver grinning at him. Oliver’s face lights up at the sight of Yandere, and he walks over to fawn over him.

“What’s with the grumpy face?” Oliver asks Chrome, “I mean, the particularly grumpy face, since you’re always grumpy.”

“I’m stuck babysitting Yandere for the foreseeable future,” Chrome grumbles, choosing to ignore the “grumpy face” comments for now.

“That’s no reason to be grumpy!” Oliver chides, “Yan’s your friend, and besides, you get to hang out with a cute baby all day!” Oliver holds out a hand to Yandere, who grabs at it curiously, making Oliver laugh.

“Babies aren’t cute,” Chrome mutters, “They’re annoying and gross and fundamentally useless until much later in their development.”

“Well, like I said, this is Yan,” Oliver points out, “Not some other random baby. He already seems to like you, so why not give him a chance? This could be fun!”

“If you’re so invested then _you_ take care of him.”

“No way! Dr. Iplier came to _you,_ right? So you can’t just foist Yan off on someone else! That’s just not right.”

“You’re a killer android like the rest of us, how did you end up with a moral compass?”

“Beats me. But I’m not letting you pass Yan off to me, and I doubt Green or Blue would volunteer, so you’re either gonna have to learn to like Yan or grin and bear it.”

Chrome sighs as Oliver leaves, giving Yandere a wave and a soft “bye, Yan!” as he goes. Chrome looks down at Yandere, and Yandere looks up at him. Yandere is still smiling sweetly. And drooling now, evidently. Ugh.

“Aga!”

_“No.”_

This is going to be a long day.

~~~

“Chrome…exactly _what_ are you doing?”

“Working on a portable laser cannon.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Chrome is, indeed, working on a portable laser cannon, but he already knows that Google is referring to Yandere. Chrome has Yandere placed in the corner of the room closest to him, sitting beside a box projecting a forcefield around a five-foot radius, keeping Yandere penned. Yandere, for his part, is chewing on a wooden block, seemingly unperturbed.

“Why is he wearing mittens?” Google continues.

“They’re anti-scratch mittens so he can’t turn off the forcefield,” Chrome answers, not looking up as he welds an attachment to the base of the cannon. “He’s perfectly fine like that.”

“I doubt it, but fine,” Google sighs, “Though, watching a baby for a while implies that you’re _watching_ the baby.”

“Oliver told you, didn’t he?” Chrome mutters, finally stopping his work to look at Google.

“He did,” Google says, “And while I normally don't care what you do, if something happens while Yandere’s here, we’ll _all_ be in trouble. So I’m here to remind you to do your job, and today, that job includes watching Yandere. _Actually_ watching him.”

“Look, he’s _fine_ ,” Chrome growls, “I’ve got this under control. He’s completely happy in his–”

Chrome gestures at the forcefield pen only to realize that the field is down, the baby mittens are on the floor beside the mechanism, and the wooden blocks are abandoned. He panics for a brief moment until he feels tiny hands tugging his pant leg. He looks down to see Yandere, looking at him indignantly.

“How did you turn the– _how_ did you take–”

“Bowed!” Yandere yells, pouting. “Pay w’me!”

“What was that about having this under control?” Google asks, smug.

“Shut up,” Chrome mutters, picking up Yandere and putting him on his lap.

Google leaves, apparently feeling his point’s been made, and Yandere and Chrome regard each other critically.

“I didn’t sign up for this,” Chrome tells him, “I like you more when you’re grown.”

“Bad Aga,” Yandere mumbles, clearly still annoyed.

“It’s A _ka_ ,” Chrome says through grit teeth.

~~~

Chrome halfheartedly bounces Yandere on his lap for a while, which Yandere enjoys but Chrome gets bored of very quickly. He ends up working on a different project, something that involves working on the main computers, sitting beside a ground level screen and keeping Yandere close by. It’s a decent compromise, he thinks; he gets to work on something like he wants to (even if he has to postpone the portable laser cannon for now), and Yandere gets to hang out with him and watch something interesting.

Plus drops by for a few minutes to help Chrome work out a particularly difficult bit, but he seems more interested in Yandere.

“So, this is what a baby figment looks like,” he muses, watching Yandere with curious eyes. Yandere is back to chewing on wooden blocks, oblivious.

“What did you expect?” Chrome asks derisively, not looking up from his work.

“I had no expectations, since I had never cared to think about this possibility,” Plus says honestly, “I wonder if he has any of the abilities he normally does.”

Chrome pauses.

“Come to think of it…” Chrome realizes, “I don’t recall ever actually taking those blocks out of the bag Dr. Iplier gave me.”

“Fascinating,” Plus murmurs.

“Look, are you gonna help me or what?”

“Alright, alright. Show me what you have already…”

For a few minutes they work, and neither of them notice Yandere growing increasingly disinterested until he pulls on Chrome’s shirt.

“Aga!” he whines, “Pay!”

“I did already,” Chrome mutters, “I’m busy right now; chew your blocks or whatever.”

“Babies need to be played with often,” Plus puts in, “At this age, babies need intellectual stimulation and, while they still prefer to play alone, they enjoy having their parents or guardians watch them play to offer encouragement or praise.”

“Thanks, BabyCenter.com,” Chrome quips.

Plus lets out an indignant squeak, but continues to assist Chrome until the snag is fixed.

It’s not until after he leaves that Chrome realizes Yandere isn’t sitting next to him anymore.

“Yandere?” he asks the air, looking around. He listens keenly to the environment around him, and is able to pick up the pitter-patter of Yandere’s little feet wandering into the workroom.

Chrome sighs as he gets up and walks over to the workroom. He pushes the half-ajar door all the way open just in time to see Yandere, reaching up on tiptoes to grab at something resting on the edge of a table.

The table at Chrome’s workstation.

Yandere’s fingers reach out towards the half-finished but live, electrified laser cannon sitting on the table.

 _“Hey!!”_ Chrome yells from across the room, “Don’t touch that!!”

The second half of his yell is unnecessary, as Chrome’s first sharp word startles Yandere so badly that he flinches backward, stumbling over his own feet and falling, landing on his bottom with a thud. He sits there frozen for a long moment as Chrome runs to him.

“What the hell were you thinking??” Chrome growls, hurriedly pushing the laser cannon away from the table’s edge as he kneels to Yandere’s level. “I told you already that you have to stay next to me, you can’t just run around here and…and…”

The wind leaves his sails as he looks at Yandere’s face, realization dawning as to why Yandere is still sitting there frozen. Yandere’s face slowly crumbles, shocked expression melting into a deeply upset pout.

 _Fuck,_ Chrome thinks.

Yandere _wails._

“Hey, come on, don’t cry,” Chrome says, awkward and unsure of what to do. He reaches out to pick Yandere up, but he’s surprised when the baby flinches away from him, hands covering his face as he continues sobbing.

Chrome hadn’t thought that a literally heartless android could feel heartbreak, but he’d clearly been wrong. Why does this hurt so much? Why does he feel so _sick?_

Oh, right.

Because this isn’t the first time he’s made Yandere cry.

Granted, Yandere had been his normal self then, and he and Chrome weren’t quite friends yet. And Chrome hadn’t scared him, he’d said the cruelest things he could think of to get Yandere to leave him alone. And it worked, but it proved to be a hollow victory, because Chrome had already grown fond of Yandere without even knowing it.

Hadn’t Chrome promised Yandere he’d do better after that? Hadn’t he privately vowed to watch what he says so Yandere never has to feel that way again? Hadn’t he agreed that they were friends, and that they would be even if one annoyed the other? That they’d deal with annoyance maturely? Yandere may be a baby right now, but Oliver and Dr. Iplier were right: He’s still Yandere, he’s still Chrome’s best friend, and he’s still someone Chrome never wanted to hurt again.

And here he is, inching away from Chrome after a day of being ignored and barely tolerated by him. It’s so familiar that Chrome feels his core stutter in his chest.

“Hey, don’t cry…” he repeats, as softly as he can manage.

Yandere is still crying hard the way babies do; long wails punctuated with hiccuping sobs. His face is red all over and his hands are in fists trying to rub his eyes. He stops scooting away from Chrome, though Chrome can’t be sure if it’s due to fatigue or if he actually trusts Chrome to be kind to him. Still, Chrome pulls Yandere into his arms and gets up from the floor, gently bouncing Yandere as he continues to talk to him.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry, I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “I didn’t mean to yell like that, I should’ve been watching you, don’t cry, come on…”

It takes several more minutes of gentle words and soft bouncing for Yandere’s tears to finally taper off and stop. He looks up at Chrome with lingering red cheeks and a pout, and Chrome looks back.

“Are you alright?” Chrome asks him.

There’s a pause as Yandere sniffles.

“…Bad Ahn?” he asks.

“No,” Chrome answers immediately, “No, it wasn’t you. _I_ was bad. You just wanted to play with me, and I kept just…ignoring you.” It sounds so much worse out loud. “I’m your friend, and I should never have treated you like that. So, until Dr. Iplier comes back to get you, I’m gonna make up for everything.”

“Pay?” Yandere asks cautiously, reaching out tiny hands towards Chrome’s face.

“Yeah,” Chrome replies, letting Yandere grab his cheeks. He leans his head forward and rests his forehead against Yandere’s. “Yeah, we’re gonna play.”

~~~

Dr. Iplier hadn’t known what to expect when he entered the control room to finally retrieve Yandere, but he doesn’t think he expected this.

He walks in to see Chrome sitting cross-legged on the Googles’ communal sofa playing Mario Kart, with Yandere perfectly encapsulated in his lap. Chrome is concentrating so hard on the game that he doesn’t hear Dr. Iplier come in. Meanwhile, Yandere’s eyes are wide watching the bright colors and quick movements of the characters on the TV screen as Chrome maneuvers the controls. He’s in first place but probably playing on the hardest setting, since the other characters are close behind. Yandere is momentarily distracted by Chrome’s finger’s pressing buttons, and he pokes at the controller to press at buttons himself.

Knowing Chrome, Dr. Iplier expects him to get irritated. But Chrome’s eyes merely flick down to see Yandere pushing buttons before he gently moves the controller to the side, away from Yandere’s fingers. The interruption causes his character to drop from first to fourth, but once he has full control again, he quickly gets back to first place, making good use of power-ups, a shortcut, and probably a hundred other tricks that Dr. Iplier doesn’t know about. Yandere, for his part, abandons the controller to gawk at the screen again, and Chrome brings the controller back in front of himself, assuming his original position. Moments later, the race ends and victory music plays.

“Aga win?” Yandere asks, craning his head back to look at Chrome.

“Yep,” Chrome replies, “I won again.”

“I helb’d!” Yandere exclaims proudly.

“Sure,” Chrome says with a wry grin, “We’ll go with that.”

“I take it you two had fun?” Dr. Iplier asks, smiling a little at the look of surprise that flits across Chrome’s face.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Chrome mutters. Yandere doesn’t seem to notice the lack of enthusiasm, as he’s too busy being excited to see Dr. Iplier.

“Dada!” he cries, reaching out in his direction.

“You didn’t miss me too much, did you?” Dr. Iplier asks him as he approaches Chrome to pick him up. Chrome lets him, getting up from the couch as Dr. Iplier settles Yandere in his arms.

“He never called for you, so I’d say not,” Chrome says with a only a touch of smugness.

“Alright, alright,” Dr. Iplier laughs, “I’m guessing you warmed up to him?”

“Yeah,” Chrome admits grudgingly, “I guess I did. But keep it to yourself.”

“Sure,” Dr. Iplier agrees, now with his own smug look. “Can I at least count on you to watch him in the future if need be?”

Chrome looks at Yandere who, despite happily clinging to Dr. Iplier’s lab coat, is looking at Chrome with a big, excited smile, the day’s tears seemingly forgotten.

“Yeah,” Chrome says again, not nearly as grudgingly this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I just...love Yan and Chrome's friendship. I posted a different fic about them a couple weeks ago because I just. Love them. My two lil red bois ;w;


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark decides to watch Yandere for the day–for purely pragmatic reasons, of course–but soon finds himself stuck after his broken body gives out on him. He's going to need some help to get out of this, whether he likes it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I! Love! DarkYan!!!!! I wish more people shipped them, they're so perfect together! I wouldn't exactly call this chapter "shippy" though, since Yan is, you know, a baby. Dark still cares for him though and he does his best.
> 
> Enjoy!

Dark may be annoyed that Yandere is currently a baby, but he supposes he shouldn’t just ignore him while waiting for him to go back to normal. He remembers how much Yandere enjoyed his company before, after all, and if Yandere remembers being avoided when he changes back he’ll no doubt be mad at Dark for it.

That’s what Dark tells himself, at least, and that’s what he tells Dr. Iplier one morning when he offers to be Yandere’s caretaker for the day.

It’s pragmatic. It makes sense. Dr. Iplier is busy enough, and Dark needs him to do his job and keep the other egos alive. Yandere needs to spend time with Dark for the reasons already established. It’s the most practical way to navigate the situation.

Maybe, also, he might just slightly, almost, sort of find baby Yandere completely adorable.

But that only needs to be between him and Yandere.

Dr. Iplier seems to accept Dark’s practical reasons for wanting to watch Yandere, and hands him over for the day after giving him supplies and telling him everything he needs to know about caring for a baby. Dark is fortunate that he has the ability to teleport back to his office, rather than walk through Ego, Inc. with a diaper bag on his shoulder.

“It’s going to be the two of us, today,” Dark tells Yandere as he lets the diaper bag slide off his shoulder onto the floor of his office, “I still have to work, but I hope you’ll enjoy my company, at least.”

“Lub Ahmie!” Yandere shouts, grabbing Dark’s cheeks so exuberantly it stings like a slap.

“I love you, too,” Dark answers with a pained wince. Still, he kisses the top of Yandere’s head before moving to sit down on the floor.

It’s only necessary. Dr. Iplier had told him that Yandere would want a lot of playtime. Also, there’s that persistent little fact that Yandere is exceedingly cute, and that watching him play might possibly be even cuter.

Dark rummages through the bag, sitting cross-legged with Yandere in his lap. Yandere watches him go through the bag with curious eyes until Dark pulls out a board book to move aside.

“Boog!” Yandere cries, pointing at the book and reaching for it.

“You want to look at this?” Dark asks.

Yandere’s continued grabby hands seem to be answer enough.

“Alright, here,” Dark says, giving the book up.

The book itself is small, with thick cardboard pages. It seems to be animal-themed, with a photo of a rabbit on the cover. Yandere opens the book to a random spot, featuring a photo of a snake on one side and a frog on the other. Each page has a square of fabric, probably meant to emulate the feel of each animal. Yandere pokes at the snake fabric.

“That’s what a snake feels like,” Dark says. He points to the snake photo. Yandere looks between the snake and the fabric with knit brows.

“Rub,” he finally announces.

“Rough? I would assume so,” Dark says. “Perhaps try the frog?” He points to it.

Yandere pokes at the fabric on the other page.

“Stiggy!” he exclaims, put doesn’t stop jabbing at it.

“I suppose a frog would be sticky,” Dark muses, “Which one is your favorite?”

Yandere pauses in thought for a moment, a look of concentration on his face. He eventually flips through the book’s pages again, though “flip” may be too strong a word: He clumsily pulls each page back and forth, grabbing the same page a couple times without meaning to. After a prolonged pause, he finally manages to find the page he wants; the one that shows a fluffy gray tabby kitten with a similarly-colored square of fluff.

“Gitty!” Yandere says triumphantly, practically slapping the kitten in the book.

“Ah, of course,” Dark says, unable to help his smile.

He’s faintly aware of how ridiculous this situation would look to anyone else: Dark, the leader of the egos, powerful and evil, holding a baby on his lap and talking through a board book with him. But there’s no one around to see, so Dark can’t bring himself to care. Not to mention how happy Yandere is: He’s full of giggles and loud proclamations of how each fabric square feels, and once he’s touched them all, of what each animal is. His pronunciation is poor, but somehow that only makes his words cuter. Once they’ve gone through the whole book, Dark decides he ought to get to work at his desk. Hopefully Yandere will be satisfied with sitting on his lap as he works.

He moves to start getting up, but is stopped by the stark pain of his muscles locking up.

He grunts, half in pain and half in annoyance. He should’ve known better than to sit on the floor for so long like that. Even all these years of having this body haven’t loosened it up any, and Dark still has to deal with soreness and tightness on a daily basis. The pain and locking could even be worse than it is now, and Dark knows it’ll get worse the longer he sits here.

The best solution would be to send Wilford a text asking for help. Wilford, despite his mental detachment from how Dark got his body, always seems to know how to get Dark on his feet at times like this. However, if Dark did that, Wilford would poof into Dark’s office to see him sitting next to a diaper bag, with Yandere in his arms brandishing a board book. Dark can only imagine how much Wilford would make fun of him for it.

He doesn’t need Wilford, he decides. He can get up himself.

“Ahmie?” Yandere asks, apparently noticing Dark’s thoughtful, irritated silence.

“Don’t worry, love,” Dark tells him, “I just…need to get up, is all.”

Dark realizes it’ll be easier to do that without Yandere on his lap, so he gently picks him up and sets him down beside him. Yandere makes a confused noise, and almost immediately tries to crawl back into Dark’s lap.

“No, love, wait a moment,” Dark tells him, gently pushing him back.

Yandere pouts, but stays where he is.

Dark makes another attempt to get up, unfolding his legs and starting to stand. He goes slowly this time, paying attention to which motions make his muscles start to ache and changing how he moves for each one he finds. After what feels like an eternity, he has both feet flat on the ground and begins to fully stand. But as his body starts to uncurl, it suddenly locks up again, sending a jolt of pain up his spine.

It’s a bad one. The moment it hits he can’t suppress a sharp cry, and he can’t stop himself from falling back down, landing hard this time.

“Ahmie!?” Yandere cries, fear and confusion mingling in his shrill voice.

Dark can’t answer for a long moment as he lays on the carpet of his office, breathing hard through the pain’s aftershock. Yandere crawls towards him as fast as he can manage, getting to his face within seconds to stare at him worriedly.

“I’m…alright,” Dark says through gritted teeth. It’s not the most convincing he’s ever been, and though Yandere clearly doesn’t believe him, he doesn’t say anything else for a long moment as he watches Dark try to recover his bearings. A long moment seem to be all he can wait for before speaking again.

“Ahmie hurt?” he asks, brows knitting in worry. His little face begins to crumble with sadness.

_Great,_ Dark thinks. This was supposed to be fun for Yandere, and now he’s so worried about Dark that he’s about to cry. And Dark _still_ can’t get up.

“No, darling, it’s alright,” Dark murmurs to Yandere, trying to sound reassuring despite his pain, “Don’t you cry. I’ll be up again in a minute.”

Yandere sniffles, and Dark continues to try moving. But he’s going nowhere fast, and a minute comes and goes with him mostly in the same position as before. He hasn’t had pain this bad in a while, but then again, he hasn’t exactly sat on the floor with no support before. He wasn’t prepared for how bad he’d feel, and he’s certainly paying for it now. The longer he goes without being able to get up, the more concerned and antsy Yandere seems to get. Finally, whether due to boredom or concern, Yandere finally loses patience.

“Ahn helb!” he exclaims.

“Pardon?” Dark asks. He looks over at Yandere to see him pushing himself to his feet in the clunky way babies do. When Yandere looks up, his gaze is determined.

“I helb Ahmie!” Yandere says, and begins to toddle away.

“Yandere, no, get back here!” Dark calls after him. He’s not about to let Yandere wander out of his sight while he’s supposed to be watching him. What if he falls down the stairs? What if he closes a door on his hand or foot?

“Helb!” Yandere insists as he continues walking. It’s a slow, wobbly process, and Dark would find it cute if the situation were different.

“Yandere, I told you no,” Dark says, letting a measure of sternness into his voice. “You are going to come back here and stay in this room.”

Yandere looks back at Dark, seemingly conflicted. But then Dark shifts, and pain makes him wince, and Yandere’s expression turns determined again.

“I helb!!” Yandere yells with finality, before beginning to walk away once more.

Dark sighs. He can’t physically stop Yandere like this; his aura travels inward when his body is giving him trouble.

“If you’re going to go,” Dark mutters, “Then get Wilford. Nobody else. Can you do that for me?”

Yandere’s expression brightens.

“I helb!” he exclaims one last time, and finally dashes out of the room.

Dark can only hope he doesn’t run into some misfortune on the way to find Wilford.

~~~

While Yandere is gone, Dark makes more attempts to get up, but none of them get him far. So a part of him is rather relieved when Wilford poofs into the room with Yandere on his hip.

Only a part of him, though.

“What’dya do this time, Darky?” Wilford asks, clearly already amused. His face brightens further when he sees the board book and diaper bag on the floor. “Were you on babysitting duty today?”

“That doesn’t concern you,” Dark growls, “I need you to help me up.”

“Ya sure? Ya look pretty cozy down there,” Wilford chuckles.

“Wil, I’m _not_ in the mood.”

“You’re never in the mood, but I gotta poke fun at you sometimes! Why were you on the floor, anyway?”

“…If you must know, Yandere wanted to read a book.”

“Wait, Dark, were you sitting on the floor reading Yan a story?? I wish I’d gotten here sooner! I’m already laughing imagining it!”

“I can see.”

“So you–”

Wilford is cut off when Yandere smacks his cheek with a tiny hand, pouting fiercely.

“Ow!”

“Helb Ahmie!” Yandere yells.

“I was getting to that, Yanny,” Wilford grumbles.

“Helb!!” Yandere yells louder.

“Alright, alright, sheesh!” Wilford mutters.

“At least _someone_ has a sense of urgency,” Dark muses.

“Don’t act so high and mighty from the floor…Floor Man.”

“Floor Man?”

“Yan threw me off my game, shaddup.”

To his credit, Wilford puts Yandere down and does actually help Dark get up. It takes a good minute or two, but with Wilford’s help, Dark is eventually able to uncurl and fully stand, though his body still aches.

“Thank you, Wil,” Dark says, sighing as he rolls his neck.

“Sure thing, Darky!” Wilford answers, scooping Yandere back up. “Whatcha gonna do now?”

“Try to get some work done,” Dark answers, “And keep an eye on Yandere.” He reaches out and chucks Yandere’s chin, making him giggle. “I don’t know when Dr. Iplier will be back for him.”

“Wait, lemme get this straight,” Wilford says, “You just got up from the hard, rough floor, just so you could go sit on your hard, rough desk chair to work?” His brows furrow. “Next time I come to help you up you won’t be able to walk!”

“I’ll be fine, Wilford,” Dark mutters, managing not to roll his eyes, “I sit at my desk chair all the time.”

“And you need my help to get out of it all the time.” Wilford shakes his head. “I think you need to relax for a while before you go back to work.”

“Are you really one to tell _me_ what I need for my health?” Dark asks, raising an eyebrow. “Exactly how much sugar do you eat in a day?”

“At least I relax when I need to!”

“When you aren’t staying up all night editing your show, that is.”

Wilford sighs dramatically…a little too dramatically.

“Alright, fine, you win,” he groans, as if he’s admitting a great defeat, “Go ahead and sit in that chair and ruin your back, I won’t stop you. Go ahead and take Yan and I’ll leave you alone.”

Dark’s raised eyebrow returns. The display is just a touch above Wilford’s usual drama, and Dark hasn’t known Wilford to give up on something so easily. But Wilford _is_ holding Yandere out for Dark to take, and they both know that Dark is just as stubborn as Wilford when he has a mind to be. Perhaps Wilford doesn’t feel like a drawn-out argument today.

So Dark nods and takes Yandere from Wilford, holding him to his chest. Yandere smiles brightly at him, reaching up his arms and hugging Dark’s neck. Dark can’t help but make a slight smile in return.

“Before I go, Darky,” Wilford says.

“Hm?” Dark replies, not looking up from Yandere.

“Hold onto Yan tight, alright?”

“…What?”

In the next moment, Wilford lifts Dark into the air bridal-style, laughing as Dark shouts with indignation. Dark’s aura flails wildly, but the smell of cotton candy fills the air as Wilford’s aura combats it, keeping Dark firmly in Wilford’s grip. Yandere is alarmed and confused at first, but he soon starts to laugh along with Wilford, finding the situation great fun.

Dark, however, does not.

“What are you doing!?” he yells, “Put me down, you idiot!”

“Nope!” Wilford replies cheerfully, “You’re going to your room to relax and rest your back!”

“Like hell I am, you moronic, insufferable–”

Wilford doesn’t let him finish before teleporting into Dark’s bedroom and setting Dark down on his bed.

“There!” Wilford exclaims triumphantly.

“What makes you believe I’ll stay here when you leave?” Dark asks dryly.

“Hmmmm,” Wilford hums, tapping his chin with thought. He grins. “I suppose I’ll just have to stay here with you and Yanny to make sure.”

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” Dark groans as Wilford snaps his fingers, poofing a chair into existence behind him.

“Yep!” Wilford plops down into his seat. “I get to hang out with Yanny and keep you from completely breaking your back again.”

“Again?”

“Did I say “again”? Whatever. My point remains.”

Dark sighs, looking down at Yandere. Yandere looks up at him, placidly smiling.

“I think we’re stuck with him, love,” Dark tells him.

“Wiff an’ Ahmie!” Yandere exclaims, reaching up and patting Dark’s cheek.

A part of Dark can’t wait for Dr. Iplier to come back, but another, bigger part thinks this might be bearable with Yandere.

~~~

A few hours later sees Wilford holding Yandere in his lap, playing with him as Dark takes a break to read a book. He’s still sitting on his bed, leaning back against the pillows, and even he has to admit that his back is feeling much better than it would have if he’d gone back to work. He’s half-listening to Wilford and Yandere as he reads.

“Now Yandere, if you’re gonna be a baby, you need to be able to defend yourself!” Wilford is saying. “Let me see, I bet I can…”

He snaps his fingers, and Yandere’s katana poofs into Wilford’s lap next to Yandere. The baby’s eyes light up as he grabs at the sword’s hilt.

“Gana!” he exclaims.

“Wil, you can’t give him a katana,” Dark chimes in, “He’s going to hurt himself.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Wilford muses. He thinks a moment before snapping his fingers again. The katana instantly shrinks to be perfectly sized for Yandere, who now grabs it easily. “That’s better!”

“That’s not what I meant,” Dark sighs.

“So, Yan,” Wilford says to Yandere, ignoring Dark, “How much do you remember? What level are we starting at?”

Yandere holds the sword’s hilt with both hands and waves it haphazardly in the air, watching it glint in the room’s light. He giggles as he hacks the air, narrowly missing slicing off the end of Wilford’s moustache.

“Okay, Level One, then,” Wilford says.

At that moment, there’s a knock at the door.

“Dark? You in there? You didn’t seem to be in your office; I’m here to get Yan.”

It’s Dr. Iplier. Wilford looks at Dark, then at Yandere, still waving his mini-katana.

“I’m here,” Dark answers, staring pointedly at Wilford, “Come in.”

Wilford poofs away the mini-katana, and Dark smirks, shutting his book and getting up from his bed as Dr. Iplier enters the room. Yandere lights up at the sight of him.

“Dada!” he exclaims. He practically bounces in Wilford’s lap, apparently overwhelmed at having three of his favorite people in the same room.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dr. Iplier laughs as Wilford hands the baby off to him, “I take it you had fun?”

“Wiff an’ Ahmie!” he replies.

“I can see that,” Dr. Iplier chuckles. He looks to the two of them. “Yan wasn’t any trouble?”

“ _Yandere_ was no trouble,” Dark answers, glancing at Wilford. Wilford sticks his tongue out at Dark.

“…Alright,” Dr. Iplier says, “I’m not touching on that, but thanks for looking after Yandere, both of you.”

“Don’t mention it, Doc!” Wilford answers with a grin, “It was fun to hang out with the little guy!” He ruffles Yandere’s hair, making him laugh.

“You’re welcome” is all Dark says, but he gently strokes Yandere’s cheek, and his lips quirk into the slightest smile as Yandere giggles and stares up at him adoringly.

Despite all the trouble, Dark decides he’d like to watch Yandere again very soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I couldn't not put Wilford in this chapter, too. He, Yan, and Dark are the dream team of the egos, you can't change my mind XD
> 
> Next chapter is going to be a little bit different...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a busy day for everyone at Ego Inc. today. It must be, how else would Yandere have ended up in Ed Edgar's nursery? Fortunately, Ed doesn't plan to sell him, only babysit. Unfortunately, Yandere doesn't have any way of knowing that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can babies have self-esteem issues? I'm pretending they can. And even if they can't, Yan's not even technically human, so I'm not gonna worry about it :p
> 
> As you might be able to tell, this is not the happiest of chapters >.>
> 
> Enjoy!(?)

Dr. Iplier didn’t set out to hand Yandere off to Ed Edgar one busy morning. In fact, he’d handed the baby off to Wilford, finding that Dark and Chrome weren’t available. But Wilford soon realized he couldn’t direct his show and watch Yandere at the same time, so he’d handed Yandere off to Bim. But Bim had as much studio work to do as Wilford, so he’d handed Yandere off to the Jims and told them to give Yandere to someone responsible. So the Jims handed Yandere off to Ed Edgar, reasoning that he knew a lot about babies, so he _had_ to be responsible, right?

Now, Ed Edgar is a lot of things. He likes to think he’s a shrewd businessman, a good salesman, and a decent caretaker, even if the others like to think he’s a moronic hick. But whatever he is, Ed is _not_ stupid. He knows by now that he can’t get away with selling Yandere, not after the trouble he got in for even suggesting it before. No, Yandere is not merchandise. Still, Ed doesn’t mind taking care of him. What’s one more baby in his nursery, anyway?

“You’re at a good age, ya know,” he says to Yandere as he takes him to one of the several communal playpens. “Not as helpless a newborn, but not quite as cranky as a toddler yet. This should be a breeze.” He places Yandere in the pen among nearly a dozen other babies the same age as him. “I’ll just make sure you get se–” At that, Ed’s watch starts to buzz.

“Wha?” Yandere asks, tilting his head and looking up at Ed.

“This watch is connected to my cameras,” Ed explains, pressing buttons, “Tells me if somethin’s goin’ on with the babies–” He huffs. “Dang nabbit, Susie Jane’s eatin’ glue again. I’ll be right back, go on an’ introduce yourself.” With that, he leaves.

Yandere is left sitting alone in the playpen, blinking in confusion. Over the past hour he’s been carried and rushed and swapped around to so many people and places, and now that he’s finally been left somewhere, he has no idea where he is. The other babies ignore him, already in pairs or playing alone, and annoyance creeps into Yandere’s mind. After all this mess, he’s stuck in a playpen that isn’t his surrounded by other kids he doesn’t know! At least he has his wooden blocks (which appear beside him nearly as soon as he thinks of them, much to his welcome relief). He tries to stack them, but soon ends up chewing on one as he continues wondering what he’s doing here.

“Hey.”

Yandere startles, looking around himself.

“ _Behind_ you, dummy.”

Yandere twists around to awkwardly look backwards, and sees another child, a few years older than himself.

“You dummy!” he yells, scooting himself in a half-circle to face this new child. She’s a girl, around four years old, with hair in two jet black pigtails and wearing a white dress with pattern of cherries all over it. She radiates confidence, hardly reacting to Yandere’s insult.

“Whatever, you’re just a baby,” she says, matter-of-factly. “What’s your name, Baby?”

“Ahn!” Yandere says.

“Anne?”

“No, Ahn!”

“...I’m calling you Baby.”

Yandere pouts and throws a block at the girl. Much to his annoyance, he misses.

“Stop it!” the girl yells, “If you do it again, I’m telling Mr. Edgar and he’s gonna take your blocks away!”

Yandere sets down the next block he was planning to throw with another, deeper pout.

“Meanie,” Yandere mutters.

“No, I’m Marie,” the girl replies, smug.

Yandere blinks, confused all over again.

“Anyway, what are you doing here?” Marie asks, “What happened to your mom and dad?”

That question puzzles Yandere even further.

“Dada helb beeple,” Yandere says, “He dog...do...”

“Doctor?”

“Yeah!”

“What about your mommy?”

Yandere shakes his head.

“No mama.”

“Me too,” Marie says, nodding as if she knew all along what Yandere would say. “Daddy said I’m too much work how and make him think of Mommy too much, so now I’m here.”

“Wha?” Yandere asks, now hopelessly confused. Marie rolls her eyes.

“Daddy gave me up,” Marie explains, still as confident as ever. “So Mr. Edgar took me here and now I live here. Your Dada gave you up, too, so now you’re here.”

“Wha!?” Yandere exclaims, suddenly panicked. “No! Dada lub me!!”

“Maybe he lied.” Marie shrugs. “My Daddy did. All of us got put here to get new parents.”

“No…” Yandere mumbles, but he’s already thinking about earlier, when Dr. Iplier handed him off to Wilford.

_“Dark and Chrome aren’t around right now, can you take him? I have a six-car pile-up coming in and I can’t watch Yan and help them at the same time.”_

Dr. Iplier is always saying things like that. Always handing him to someone or other. Yandere’s become fond of nighttime, because that’s when Dr. Iplier will read him stories and rock him to sleep, and soothe him if he wakes up before morning. He gets to stay firmly held in Dr. Iplier’s arms then, with no worry that he’ll be given away.

But…maybe Dr. Iplier doesn’t like nighttime as much as Yandere does. With how often he makes someone else take care of Yandere, maybe he doesn’t like it at all. Maybe he’s truly been given away, this time for good. Marie seems so sure of herself, so she must be telling the truth…right?

“Dada…gib way?” Yandere’s eyes are huge, filling with tears. He’s right on the edge of a crying fit, and only needs one more thing to set him off.

“Yeah.” Marie shrugs. “Don’t be sad, Baby. Mr. Edgar is weird but he’s nice. He’ll find you new parents. He’s already looking for mine.”

Well, that’ll do it.

Yandere wails, bawling as loud as he can manage. Other babies in the pen turn to look, a few start crying themselves. Marie covers her ears.

“Stop crying, Baby!!”

Somehow, Yandere cries louder. Tears and snot run down his face, and his cheeks turn red with emotion and exertion. His hands ball up into tiny fists to rub at his eyes, but it doesn’t do much. His whole body shudders from it.

It’s about that time that Ed Edgar comes running back.

“What in the blazes is going on here!?” Ed arrives at a pen full of babies ranging from annoyed to distraught…and Marie. “Marie, what in the world did you do this time??”

“I didn’t do anything!” Marie protests, shouting to be heard over Yandere’s wailing. “I just told him what he’s here for!!”

“Oh, fer cryin’ out loud,” Ed mutters to himself, before addressing Marie, “You cain’t just assume that every kid in here is gettin’ adopted! I’m only babysittin’ this one here!”

“Every other kid in here is getting adopted!” Marie insists, “Baby’s just weird!”

“His name’s Yandere,” Ed tells her, picking Yandere up, “You’ll get a talkin’ to later, missy, but first I gotta fix yer mess.”

Marie sticks out her tongue at Ed and darts away, and Yandere, still sobbing, starts to squirm in Ed’s hold.

“Hey, settle down there,” Ed says, trying to soothe.

_“Noooo-o-o!!”_ Yandere bawls, fighting harder.

“Alright, alright, just–hey, ow! That’s my beard, ow–okay, I’m putting ya down before I drop ya–”

The instant Yandere’s on the ground, he dashes away, mostly crawling.

“Oh, for the love of–” Ed follows him away.

But Yandere is faster, and looking for somewhere to hide. He ends up darting under a cabinet against the wall, far enough back so that he can’t be grabbed and pulled back out. He sits there and curls into a ball, still weeping.

“Hey,” Ed pants, finally arriving. He gets on his hands and knees to peer under the cabinet at Yandere. “Hey, kid, come on out, come–oh man,” He pauses to gasp for breath. “I’m too old to keep chasin’ y’all like this…Come out, Yandere!”

“Noooo,” Yandere whimpers, shrinking back even further.

“Dang nabbit,” Ed sighs.

He already knows what he has to do, and he’s not looking forward to it.

~~~

Dr. Iplier was away from Yandere for _one hour._

Dark was out of the building for _two_.

Yet, here they are, standing outside the nursery of a very embarrassed Ed Edgar, hearing about why Yandere is currently wailing so loud he can be heard from the hall.

“You left him _alone??_ ” Dr. Iplier asks Ed in disbelief. Dark turns to Dr. Iplier.

“And _you_ left him with _Ed??_ ” he growls.

“Naw, he didn’t,” Ed says, “I got Yandere from the Jims.”

Dark’s form cracks, and Dr. Iplier looks like he’s about to crack, too.

“Woah, now hold on!” he shouts, “I didn’t give Yan to the Jims! I wouldn’t trust those two with a potted plant, let alone a _baby!_ I gave him to–” He stops up short as he realizes. “ _Wilford._ ”

Dark’s form splits open for a brief moment, showing a silhouette of himself practically pulling his hair out in rage.

“I will speak to him about this,” he says icily.

“For what it’s worth,” Ed mumbles, “The Jims said they got Yandere from Bim.”

“So what, Wilford just decided to play hot potato with Yan?” Dr. Iplier sighs, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. “I knew I should’ve left him with someone else.”

“Hey!”

Everyone looks towards the door to the nursery, which has slightly opened, then down. It’s Marie, clearly grumpy. And who could blame her; Yandere’s howls are even louder now with the door open.

“Marie, get back inside!” Ed exclaims, “Cain’tcha see I’m busy!?”

“Are you guys gonna make Yandry or whatever stop crying already??” She crosses her arms. “He’s too loud!!”

“Watch how you speak to your elders, _little girl,_ ” Dark warns through grit teeth.

Marie’s eyes widen a little at his tone but she doesn’t back down, and Ed starts pushing her back inside.

“I should get in there,” Dr. Iplier says, “Hopefully I can get Yan to come out on his own.”

“I’ll deal with Wilford _and_ Bim,” Dark says, “And if he’s not out by the time I return, I’m getting him out myself.” His aura writhes gently.

“I guess you’d have to…” Dr. Iplier admits, clearly not on board with that option.

Either way, Dark leaves, and Dr. Iplier follows Ed and Marie into the nursery.

He’s been here before to treat the children. Mostly it’s fevers that get too high and enough ear infections for a whole pediatrics department, but occasionally a kid will fall off a play structure and need a cast or stitches. Though Dr. Iplier doesn’t like thinking about Ed’s business, he has to admit that the nursery is big and clean and that the children always seem well enough cared for. Right now, though, most of the kids are clearly unhappy, presumably due to Yandere’s disruptive crying, which gets louder and louder the further into the nursery they go. Finally, they reach an oak cabinet and Ed points beneath it.

“That’s where he is,” he says, wincing and rubbing his ear with one hand, “If you couldn’t tell.”

Marie stands off to the side, clearly curious about Dr. Iplier and what he’s going to do, as Dr. Iplier gets down on all fours to look at Yandere. His hearts twists at the sight of his boy curled up in a trembling, weeping ball.

“Yan? Sweetheart?” Dr. Iplier says, making his voice as gentle as possible. Yandere hears him and immediately looks up, sniffling.

“Dada?”

“Yeah, Yan, Dada’s here.” He gives a soft smile and reaches out a hand. “Come on out, sweetheart, it’s alright.”

“No!” Yandere tightens into a ball again, trying to scoot further back into the wall. “Dada gib way!”

“Give…oh, honey,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, heart breaking all over again. Ed had told him and Dark about what he suspected one of the other kids had told Yandere, but Dr. Iplier hadn’t expected him to take it to heart.

“Dada no lub me,” Yandere whimpers into his arms.

“No, Yan, that’s not true!” Dr. Iplier insists, “Of course I love you, I love you so much. You’re my son and I’ll always love you no matter what.”

Yandere looks up again, eyes huge and teary.

“No wan’ new Dada,” he sniffles, “Wan’ _Dada_.”

Dr. Iplier can’t hold back a gasp.

“I know, baby,” he murmurs, choked up, “You’re not getting a new Dada. I’m your Dada, I’m right here.”

“I knew his name was Baby,” Marie whispers.

“You hush,” Ed whispers back.

“Dada gib way,” Yandere whimpers.

“Sweetheart…” Dr. Iplier takes a steadying breath. “I know I did. I know I _do_. I want to be your Dada but I want to be a doctor, too, and I thought…I thought I was doing both. I didn’t know it would upset you so much to keep passing you along, but I should’ve known, and I’m sorry.” A sparkle of hope appears in Yandere’s eyes. “From now on, I…I’ll close the clinic to humans. So I’ll be taking care of the other egos but I’ll be taking care of you, too. I promise I’ll take better care of you.” He reaches out a hand again. “Please come out.”

Yandere looks at Dr. Iplier’s hand, then his face, and his eyes widen with alarm.

“Dada sad?” he asks, starting to uncurl and peer intently at Dr. Iplier’s face.

That’s when Dr. Iplier realizes there’s a few tears streaking down his cheeks.

“Yes, I guess I am,” Dr. Iplier admits, chucking a little as he wipes his face. “I’m sad because you’re sad.”

“No sad!” Yandere exclaims, crawling to Dr. Iplier’s outstretched hand. Though tears are still wet on his face and he’s done completely done crying yet, he grabs Dr. Iplier’s hand with both of his own and squeezes. “No sad, Dada. I lub you.”

Dr. Iplier beams, trying not to cry even harder.

“I love you, too,” he murmurs.

He puts his other arm around Yandere and pulls him out from under the cabinet, holding him to his chest as he stands up again. Yandere doesn’t protest, instead leaning into the embrace and resting his cheek on Dr. Iplier’s shoulder. Dr. Iplier hums softly, stroking Yandere’s hair and swaying back and forth to soothe the last of the tears away–Yandere’s tears, and his own, too.

After several long moments of quiet, a shout pierces the air.

“That’s not fair!!” Marie yells, stomping her foot. Tears poke out from the corners of her eyes. “How come his daddy wants him back and mine doesn’t!?”

Dr. Iplier’s jaw drops. He suddenly realizes that this little girl was the one who told Yandere that he’d been given up, and he suddenly realizes why.

“Oh, no…” he murmurs, ready to start comforting her.

But Ed beats him to it.

“Marie,” he says, kneeling down to her eye-level. She turns away in anger. “Look at me, little miss.”

“It’s not fair!” she yells again, “I want Daddy!!”

“Do you?” Ed asks, voice even and patient. “You remember what he said when he brought ya to me?”

Marie hesitates, then turns to face Ed again. She nods, tears starting to fall.

“He wasn’t very kind, now was he?”

“No…”

“Yer daddy is a lazy, no-good, son of a gun. Plenty’a daddies don’t give their kids away if somethin’ happens to the mommy. Yer daddy’s a coward, and you deserve a better one. That’s why you’re here, ain’t it?” He gently pinches Marie’s tear-stained cheek. “Ain’t no one gonna adopt ya if yer cryin’ and carryin’ on,” he chides, but there’s a note of teasing in his voice and the slightest smile on his lips.

Marie giggles despite herself and playfully pushes Ed’s hand away before wiping her tears.

“I know all that stuff,” Marie sniffles, “I still miss him, though.”

“Course ya do, he’s the only daddy you’ve had,” Ed replies, “But someday you’ll have a new daddy who treats you like the belle of the ball.”

Marie nods and smiles shyly.

“You alright now?”

“Yeah…” Marie looks at her hands, fidgets a little.

“Oh, fine, c’mere,” Ed sighs, faking exasperation as he opens his arms. Marie steps forward and throws her arms around his neck, and Ed wraps his arms around her in turn.

“Thanks, Mr. Edgar,” Marie whispers.

“Don’t mention it, sugar,” Ed replies, giving her forehead a quick peck as he pulls away. “You run along now, little miss.”

Marie grins, kisses Ed on the nose, and runs away laughing before Ed can react. Ed’s cheeks turn red as he pulls his hat down, covering his face.

“She’s quite a character, isn’t she?” Dr. Iplier says, both touched and amused.

“You betcha,” Ed answers as he stands. He lifts his hat as his blush recedes, smiling softly. “I’ve got half a mind to adopt that girl myself.”

“You should,” Dr. Iplier says, sparing a fond glance to Yandere, now asleep in his arms after the morning’s excitement. He pauses, thinking. “I guess I never realized you actually…I mean, with these kids…”

“What, that I care about ‘em?” Ed asks, “That I don’t just use ‘em for money?” He laughs a little. “S’alright, I don’t mind. It used to be like that, at first. S’how I screwed stuff up with my son. But then, well, _that_ happened…”

Dr. Iplier nods, looking down. He hates to think of that time as much as any of the Cyndago egos do, even if he’s not one himself.

“…an’ I said to myself, the hell am I doin’?” Ed continues with a sigh. “I remember what my video was for, how it was meant to make people wanna help kids, and here I am, doin’ all this shady stuff to make money off ‘em.” He grimaces at the memory. “I just decided I didn’t wanna be that man no more. But, to be frank with ya, I’m thinkin’ it’s easier if the others don’t know I’ve changed. King and Silver know already, s’why we’re friends, but they ain’t tellin’ nobody.” His expression turns serious. “There’s too many wackos around here, and the less they want to do with me, the further they stay away from my kids. An’ if the head honcho back there thinks I don’t give a rat’s ass ‘bout ‘em, he ain’t gonna try to use ‘em against me.”

Dr. Iplier remembers how Ed spoke of Marie when he explained the situation to him and Dark earlier. How he’d seemed so annoyed with her yet so flippant about her, how he’d never even mentioned her name. If Dark had known that she was the one who upset Yandere when she opened the door and made a fuss, Dark would’ve done much worse than scold her. What Dr. Iplier had mistaken for embarrassment and anger as Ed pushed Marie back inside was probably fear. But he’d hidden it so well to keep her safe.

“That’s smart of you,” Dr. Iplier admits, “I never would’ve guessed. I’ve underestimated you, Ed.”

“Aw shucks,” Ed chuckles, “No need to lay on the compliments, Doc. Jus’ keep all this between us, ya hear?”

“Of course,” Dr. Iplier promises. He sighs. “What a day already, huh? I’m gonna take Yan back to the clinic with me.”

“You got that right.” Ed tips his hat. “See ya ‘round, Doc.”

“See you, Ed.”

When Dr. Iplier leaves the nursery, closing the door behind him, Dark is already back.

“Oh, hey,” Dr. Iplier says, “How long have you been waiting?”

“Only a few moments,” Dark says. “I assumed Yandere was alright since I could no longer hear his crying.” He looks down at Yandere, still sleeping soundly in Dr. Iplier’s arms. “He _is_ alright, I presume?”

“Yep,” Dr. Iplier answers, looking at Yandere as well and stroking his hair, “I’ve decided I’m going to stop treating humans until he goes back to normal. I hate to turn people away, but…I don’t ever want to hear him cry like that again.”

Dark nods, reaching out a hand to Yandere. He runs a finger down his cheek, making Yandere stir a little and smile in his sleep. Dark can’t help but smile gently in turn.

“So…” Dr. Iplier begins, “…Are Wilford and Bim still alive?”

“Of course,” Dark answers, his smile turning sharp, “They won’t die in my void unless I will it. I imagine they’ll be wishing for it by the time I let them out.”

Dr. Iplier shudders. Yes, Ed definitely has the right idea. Dr. Iplier looks down at Yandere again, watches him sleep with Dark’s finger still gentle on his cheek, and is suddenly very, very grateful that his son is in Dark’s good graces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: eh idc that much about this ego  
> me: *writes about them for a fic*  
> me: *accidentally gives them lots of character development*  
> me: ...fuck i love them now
> 
> Ed's a sweet old man who just wants to take care of his kiddos, fite me ;w;
> 
> Also, sorry if Marie doesn't act like a real kid. From my experience, I know kids her age to be very blunt and not really have a filter, so they'll readily talk about stuff that most people would rather keep hidden.
> 
> If you thought this chapter was a doozy, just wait until next week ;3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Yandere is kidnapped during a day out with Dr. Iplier, it's up to an unlikely hero to rescue him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So.
> 
> There's stuff in this chapter that I didn't tag this fic with, because said things only show up in this chapter, which can be skipped without any impact on your experience of the rest of the story. To make up for not tagging it, I'll tell you here:
> 
> This chapter contains kidnapping, violence, harm towards a child, and threats of death towards a child. If you feel like you can't handle that then feel free to leave now, and I'll see you next week, no worries!
> 
> If you stick around, though, enjoy! ;3

 It’s a beautiful day in the city, and for this reason, Dr. Iplier decides it’d be fun to take Yandere out for a stroll.

He’s been able to go out with Yandere often since he decided to forgo treating humans for the moment, and Yandere sure seems to enjoy it. He’s always gawking at the things they see, pointing at dogs getting walked and laughing at the occasional street performer. Dr. Iplier uses the trips to go shopping, too, to get small things and food staples, and Yandere nearly always comes away from those trips with a new outfit that Dr. Iplier thought he’d be adorable in or a new toy he couldn’t resist spoiling him with.

Unbeknownst to Dr. Iplier, though, his trips with Yandere soon attract some unwanted attention.

On this day, a group of three men are standing together, half-hidden behind the corner of an office building. They’re watching Dr. Iplier walk along, pushing Yandere in a stroller.

“You sure this is worth it?” says one man.

“Yeah, he’s just some dude,” says another, “What makes you think he has money?”

“Are you both idiots? Look at his getup,” says the third man, the leader. “He’s a doctor, doctors make a ton. And he’s always _spending_ a ton on that baby there.” He points to Yandere, who’s sitting happily in his stroller. “We get the baby, we ransom the baby, Doc pays, and we’re sitting pretty. It’s easy.”

“So what, we just kidnap a baby in broad daylight?” asks the first lackey.

“Why not?” The leader smirks. “We just wait until he’s somewhere secluded, then we jump him. There’s three of us and one of him, it’ll be easy.”

“It sure _sounds_ easy…” the second lackey muses. He shrugs. “Fuck it, let’s do it. I could use some money.”

“Alright,” sighs the first lackey, “But let’s make it quick. The longer we take the more likely that hero is gonna show up.”

“What, you worried Silver Shepherd’ll beat you up again?” the leader laughs, “Forget Shepherd. He’s an idiot in a cape, he couldn’t even get us arrested. Now let’s keep following the doc, and when I say so, we get him. Alright?” The others nod. “Good.” He grins. “Let’s do this.”

~~~

Dr. Iplier doesn’t realize that anything is amiss until he cuts through a shaded alleyway between two brick buildings to get to a shop faster.

Then, all at once, he’s being tackled and grabbed.

“Hey, let me go! What the–!” Dr. Iplier is cut off as he’s forcefully yanked away from Yandere’s stroller by two pairs of hands. He struggles but can’t break free. One man briefly releases his hold on him to punch him in the gut, knocking the wind and the fight out of him.

“Dada!?” Yandere cries, scared and confused. He yelps as his stroller is suddenly moved by someone, a third person.

Dr. Iplier manages to look up in time to see the man reach for Yandere.

“No!” he shouts, fighting all over again and ignoring the pain. “Don’t touch him! Don’t–”

“If anyone hears us and comes running,” the man says, continuing to reach for Yandere, “You _and_ the kid are getting your heads kicked in. Get it?”

The men holding Dr. Iplier back grin and tighten their grips on his arms. Dr. Iplier forces himself to be quiet, even though every fiber of him is burning to defend his son. Yandere, though, shrieks as the man grabs him and undoes his straps, pulling him out of the stroller. He struggles harder than Dr. Iplier did, wails louder than he yelled.

“You shut up and quit squirming, or pretty soon you won’t be able to do either!!” the man growls, shaking Yandere.

“Don’t shake him–” Dr. Iplier starts, cut off by a hand clamping over his mouth. The man holding Yandere covers Yandere’s mouth, too.

“Shut _up_ already, you–” The man yells in pain as Yandere bites his finger, hard. He pulls his hand away, revealing a bit of broken skin and a drop of blood. Dr. Iplier only has a moment to be proud of Yandere for defending himself before the man slaps Yandere across the face. The high-pitched squeal that rips from his throat is unlike any sound that Dr. Iplier has heard him make before. His heart drops and he feels like he’s going to vomit.

“No, no, no, please, don’t hurt him, please–” he mindlessly babbles through the hand over his mouth.

“I warned ya.” The man’s hand is back over Yandere’s mouth again, and this time he hardly even dares to cry, much less bite him again. He nods to the men holding Dr. Iplier. “Knock him out.”

“Wait–!”

Dr. Iplier’s protest goes unheard as he’s heaved by the men and slammed against a brick wall, headfirst. Pain bursts in his skull and stars dance behind his eyes, blinding him. He lets out a choked cry, too dazed for a full scream. Yandere screams enough for them both, and it’s all Dr. Iplier can hear as he’s shoved a second time.

The stars in his eyes turn to spots, then to smudges, then to deep darkness.

~~~

Silver Shepherd has a knack for knowing when and where trouble is brewing. It’s his own personal spidey-sense, allowing him to stop crimes before they go too far, save people from harm or death, and sometimes prevent crimes if he’s lucky.

Today, though, he’s already in the middle of dealing with an armed robbery when he feels that familiar prickle, the goosebumps on his arms and the tingle in his legs telling him to _go, go to this place, something’s happening, go, before it gets worse._ Unfortunately, his sense can’t tell him the severity of the crime, so he has to hope no one’s getting away with murder as he subdues the robber. This particular robber isn’t a hardened criminal, more like an idiot who wanted to show off and get some extra cash.

“C’mon man, I can’t go to jail, I’m only twenty!” the robber cries from the chair Silver handcuffed him to. The gun is on the counter of the convenience store they’re in, far out of his reach.

“Then you’re old enough to know better,” Silver tells him, “And you should’ve thought about jail _before_ you decided to threaten some poor cashier with a deadly weapon for a few bucks.” Said cashier is still hiding behind the counter in fear. “I mean seriously, working in customer service is hard enough without jerks like you coming into stores brandishing guns and trying to steal!”

The robber just glares at Silver and says nothing more, so Silver walks to the counter and looks over the side, addressing the clerk.

“Are you holding up alright?” he asks.

“I-I guess,” the cashier says from where he’s crouched on the floor, shaking. Silver feels a pang of sympathy; the kid can’t be older than sixteen. Chances are this is his first job. Silver comes around the counter to help him stand.

“So, normally I’d stay,” Silver begins as he pulls him up, “But there’s someone else in trouble that I need to help. You called the police earlier when I told you to, right?”

“Yeah,” the kid says, “Well, I p-pressed the panic button, you know, u-under here.” He gestures to the counter.

“Good, they should be on their way soon. In the meantime, you should probably lock up and wait outside. I don’t think you want any customers coming in to see all this…” He smiles sympathetically. “…and I don’t think you want to stay in here with that guy, either.”

“Y-Yeah.” The kid manages his own shaky smile. “Thanks a lot, like, s-so much.”

“No need to thank me,” Silver insists, “It’s what I do. Maybe I’ll see you ‘round in better circumstances.”

“That’d be cool,” the kid agrees, “Bye, Silver.”

“Goodbye, and take care!” Silver replies, before leaving the convenience store.

The sun is bright and warm on his face as he exits, but he has no time to enjoy it. After having ignored his sense of danger for a few minutes, his skin is crawling with apprehensive energy. _No time to walk,_ he thinks, and he jumps. Instead of falling back down, he goes higher, taking to the sky between buildings and over the heads of the people below.

“Woah, that dude’s flying!”

“It’s Silver Shepherd!”

Silver doesn’t have time to acknowledge the passerby, and instead flies higher, out of sight. He can’t help but feel a prickle of guilt for it, even as his danger sense continues to send sparks over his skin. Once he has a suitable distance between himself and the street to keep from being seen, he takes off through the air, following every turn his danger sense tells him to make. Only a couple minutes later he’s there, and he touches down at the mouth of an alley, shaded from the sun, with brick buildings on either side. There’s no one and nothing around but a lone stroller in the center of the alley. Silver’s heart sinks.

_Oh no, not a baby._

He runs to the stroller, and immediately notices two things: First, that the stroller is empty, and second…

“Dr. Iplier??” he gasps, leaving the stroller to kneel beside him.

The doctor is unconscious on the ground a few feet from the stroller. Silver hadn’t been able to see him from the mouth of the alley. A quick once-over finds an awful lump on Dr. Iplier’s head. Someone must have knocked him out on purpose, but for what? Silver looks back to the empty stroller. He knows why Dr. Iplier would have a stroller, he knows who’s supposed to be there, but he can’t see or hear any other signs of people in the alley.

At that moment, Dr. Iplier groans and starts to stir.

“Doctor, hey, can you hear me?” Silver asks him. Dr. Iplier tries to push himself up, and Silver grabs him in time to keep him from falling back down. “Take it easy, you’re hurt, you might be concussed.”

“Yan,” Dr. Iplier gasps, dazed but quickly coming around, “Yandere, we were walking, these guys showed up–”

“Slow down,” Silver tells him gently, “Tell me what happened, slowly.”

“These three guys followed us here,” Dr. Iplier continues, voice edged with panic, “Two of them held me back and pulled me away from Yan, one of them grabbed him, he _hit_ him–!” Dr. Iplier covers his mouth and screws his eyes shut, as though the memory physically hurts. “The guys grabbing me threw my head against the wall and knocked me out. And Yan, where–!”

He catches sight of the empty stroller, and his face drains of color.

“Oh no,” he gasps, eyes filling with tears, “They took him, they took him–”

“Doctor, listen to me,” Silver says, grabbing his shoulders, “I know this is a bad situation, but we can’t freak out. The more we panic, the more time we lose. Alright?”

Silver’s seen Dr. Iplier’s expression more times than he can count. Not on Dr. Iplier himself, but on the faces of every parent whose child Silver had to save. That same anguish, that same terror, that same paralyzing panic. But when there’s someone there to be calm for them, to remind them to keep their heads and to emulate the right mindset, their panic almost always recedes, at least a little. It works for Dr. Iplier, and he breathes in deeply, trying to ground himself.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He laughs a short, bitter laugh. “I’m not usually like this when bad things happen. I don’t need to tell you that, though, do I?”

He doesn’t. No matter how horribly Silver gets injured on the job, Dr. Iplier is calm and collected as he patches him up. Truth be told, Silver has never seen him so frantic.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Silver assures him, “Let’s just get home so we can get your head fixed and figure out what to do next.”

Dr. Iplier nods, and right as Silver is preparing to fly him back to Ego Inc., his phone buzzes.

“What the–” Dr. Iplier mutters, reaching into his pocket for his phone. “There better not be anything catastrophic happening back home, I can’t–” His eyes go huge the moment he opens his phone. For several long moments, he stares at the screen, mouth slightly open, eyes welling with tears again.

“Doctor, what is it?” Silver asks, a sinking feeling in his chest. When Dr. Iplier doesn’t answer, he scoots around him to look at the phone over his shoulder. He can’t hold back a gasp.

It’s a text message from an unnamed number, showing a photo of a man with Yandere held roughly in his arms. Yandere is slightly blurred from movement, but it’s easy to see the bruise spanning his cheek and the tears running down his face. His eyes are scrunched and his mouth is open in a wail. The man holding Yandere isn’t very visible; the photo is zoomed in too close to Yandere to see much more than his left arm crossed over Yandere and pinning him to the man’s chest. Just as frightening, if not more so, is the written message beneath it.

_12 hours from now, bring $3 mil in cash to the corner of Johnson and Orange Street or the baby dies._

While Silver and Dr. Iplier are staring at the text, trying to process it, another one comes through.

_Just in case you don’t think we’re serious…_

A few moments later, another image is sent. It’s Yandere again, still held by the same person, though his grip is slightly different. His right arm is visible now, with a gun in his hand, pressed up against Yandere’s fluffy black hair. Yandere’s eyes are wide with fear now, his mouth in a shaky pout, but his form is much less blurry than the previous photo. No doubt he’s been frightened into stillness.

“Oh god,” Dr. Iplier gasps, tears starting to run down his cheeks, “Oh god, they’re going to kill him, he can’t defend himself like this, they’re going to kill him–”

“Doctor, hey! Remember what I said before!” Silver cries, but he’s shaken too, and he knows it shows in his voice.

Dr. Iplier barely hears Silver as he bursts into tears, and Silver decides he has to get him home and regroup _now_ , whether Dr. Iplier is calm or not.

~~~

When Silver and Dr. Iplier arrive in the lobby of Ego Inc., the Host is already there, as is Darkiplier. They must already know that something happened, judging by Dark’s pensive expression and Host’s worried one. Dr. Iplier is still crying as they come in, and Host is by him in seconds, taking him into his arms. Host hugs him tight and he strokes his hair as Dark approaches, aura whipping around him in anger.

“The Host foresaw Yandere in danger,” Dark growls. Silver shrinks back, and Dark’s steely gaze turns to Dr. Iplier. “ _Where is he?_ ”

Dr. Iplier pulls away from Host enough to address Dark, but Host keeps one arm around his shoulders.

“H-He’s been kidnapped,” he manages through his sobs. He holds out his phone, still on the awful texts, to Dark.

Dark takes the phone from him, and Silver can see the instant he registers the photos of Yandere. His eyes blaze and his shell splits, revealing different shadows of himself and split-second screams of fear, despair, and most of all, _rage_. Silver looks over to see Host narrating softly to himself, finding out what’s on the phone as well. His brows furrow and his expression tightens as he murmurs. Dark whirls on Dr. Iplier, startling Host into momentary quiet.

“You let someone _kidnap_ Yandere!?” Dark roars, sending Dr. Iplier cowering and crying harder against Host’s side. Host’s nostrils flare as he tightens his hold on Dr. Iplier’s shoulders and steps forward.

“Dr. Iplier _did not_ let this happen!” he yells back, getting in Dark’s face. “Yandere is his child! He would never willingly allow anyone to hurt him!”

“He tried to stop them!” Silver interjects without thinking. He falters as Dark’s fiery gaze snaps towards him. “I mean, he told me there were three people, and, um, two of them held him back, you know, and–”

“Then why didn’t _you_ stop them?” Dark asks, voice dripping with derision added to anger. “Or did you _fail_ as you always have?”

Silver bows his head, distantly grateful for his mask covering his blush as his face heats with shame. Practically none of the egos take him seriously, he knows that, but it always hurts to be reminded.

“I was stopping an armed robbery somewhere else,” he says, voice small, “By the time I got to Dr. Iplier, he’d been knocked out and Yandere was gone.”

Dark turns back to Host, who is speaking under his breath, letting his narrations go over Silver’s story.

“Well?” Dark asks.

“Silver is being truthful.” Host’s voice is icy. “The kidnappers shoved Dr. Iplier’s head against a brick wall to subdue him. He was outnumbered and overpowered, and Silver had no way of knowing what was happening. By the time the kidnappers confronted Dr. Iplier, there were no paths left where Yandere was left unharmed.”

“What paths are there now?” Dark demands.

Silver watches Host murmur and listens to his voice dip up and down as he ventures through the future with no small amount of awe. It’s not often he sees Host flex his power like this, and it amazes him every time. When Host is done, he addresses Dark.

“There are many possible futures in which Yandere is brought home safe.”

“And the rest?”

Host pauses, mindful of Dr. Iplier still crying into his trenchcoat.

“There are paths where Yandere comes home with greater injuries than he has now…” Host admits, “…and several paths in which he is rescued too late.”

Dr. Iplier sobs harshly, and Host turns away from Dark to hug the doctor close again. Silver shudders to think of those men hurting Yandere, much less _killing_ him. Dark doesn’t like the thought of it either, judging by his furious expression. He looks at the photos again.

“Perhaps Wilford can teleport to where they are…” he begins.

“Is that my cue?” Wilford says as he suddenly appears with a pop next to Silver. Silver yelps in surprise and jumps backwards, nearly tripping over his cape as Wilford strides over to Dark. He spares a glance around at everyone, taking in their various unhappy and angry expressions. “Geez, what’s up with all of you?”

“This,” Dark answers, handing him the phone.

Wilford takes it, and his genial expression almost instantly turns stormy. His eyes widen and turn bright pink as his brows turn down, and his nostrils flare. Almost immediately a vein pops out in his forehead, and Silver can see his jaw clench around his deep frown. Silver steps away, closer to Host. He doesn’t often see Wilford get this _angry_.

“Oh, that bastard is going to look _splendid_ on my wall,” Wilford growls.

“Can you take us to him?” Dark asks.

Wilford peers at the photos, zooms them in, and appears to try, but his aura fizzles and bursts in meaningless pink puffs.

“It’s no good,” he huffs, “I can’t see enough of the room they’re in, the photos are too damn close!” He throws the phone annoyance, right over Silver’s head.

“Hey, hold on!” Silver yells, running for the phone.

“You idiot, we need that!” Dark snaps at Wilford.

They start to argue as Silver catches the phone in one of his giant gloves. He looks at the photos again, trying to think of a new course of action. If Wilford can’t get a good look at where they are to teleport there, then what now? He stares at the man’s arm holding Yandere, not certain what he’s looking for, but trying to find _something_ useful. There’s nothing unusual about it, except…Silver zooms in on the second photo, seeing a black speck on the man’s arm, next to where Yandere’s own tiny hand is grabbing on for purchase. He hadn’t noticed it before in his and Dr. Iplier’s panic. Dirt? No, too dark, too thin against the skin. A tattoo? Much more likely. Yandere’s hand could be covering the rest of it. Silver looks to the side of the photo, where the man has his other arm up, hand holding a gun to Yandere’s hand. He can just barely see the edge of another tattoo in the same area as the one on the other arm.

Small, likely matching, tattoos on either arm. There’s no one person it could be, but Silver has an immediate hunch, judging from what he can see of the man’s build and skin tone. Has he done it? Has he figured out who took Yandere??

At that moment, the phone is plucked from his grip by Dark’s aura.

“Hey–!” Silver exclaims, turning towards Dark in time to see the phone drop into his open hand.

“I’ll be taking this to the Googles,” Dark says, “They’ll trace the number and we’ll have a better idea of what to do next.”

“Wait, hold on!” Silver cries, running over, “I think I know who the guy in the photo is! You can sorta see his tattoos, and–”

“How many thugs with tattoos are there in this city, Silver?” Dark asks, patronizing. Wilford snickers.

“Um, uh, a-a lot,” Silver stammers, “But, these ones, they’re, I mean–”

“Yeah, well, um,” Wilford interrupts, mocking, “No offence, Shep, but you best be leaving this to the big guns.” He stretches his suspenders and winks.

“B-But I’m sure I know!” Silver insists, “The Googles can look him up, and we can–”

“This is _not_ your decision,” Dark snaps, staring down at Silver with narrowed eyes. Silver cowers, instantly quieting. “Wilford and I will take it from here. Your _help_ is not needed.” He says the word “help” with icy sarcasm.

“I…” Silver tries, but his confidence withers and dies under Dark’s glare.

“Know your place, Shepherd. And don’t get in our way.”

With that, his aura swallows him up and he disappears, off to the control room. Wilford spares one last chuckle at Silver’s expense before following in a puff of pink smoke.

Silver sighs.

“I should’ve known not to question them,” he mutters, pulling his cape into his hand to twist it worriedly. “But the number has to be burner, those guys might not even have it anymore.” He looks at the Host, who still stands nearby, comforting Dr. Iplier. His head swivels to Silver as he senses his eyes on him.

“Does Silver want advice?” Host asks, “Or does he want an excuse to pursue his theory?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“There are many, many futures that hang above us now, waiting to be realized.” Host continues. “Only a scant few see Silver Shepherd making the situation worse.”

“What about the others?” Silver asks, new hope blooming in his chest. Host smiles just a little.

“There are one or two in which Silver does nothing, but there are many in which Silver attempts a rescue. Quite a few see him succeeding.” He peers at Silver like he can see right through him. “But it does not matter what the Host says, because Silver already knows what the right choice is.”

“You’re right,” Silver answers, a slow smile coming over his face, “You’re right, I know what I have to do. What I _want_ to do.” He stands up straighter. “Thank you, Host. And make sure someone looks at Dr. Iplier’s head.”

“He will,” Host replies, offering another soft smile before turning to lead Dr. Iplier away.

Silver, meanwhile, leaves the building with a determined spring in his stride.

He knows what to do, and more importantly, he knows where to go.

~~~

Abel Eyler.

Silver’s dealt with him before, him and his two goons. The three of them aren’t exactly big players in the crime world, but they make more than their share of trouble around the city. All three are slippery, Abel especially, and their crimes have escalated every time they escape, getting worse and worse as they get bolder. Last time they mugged a pair of women on their way home from a concert late at night, and now this.

Abel is identifiable by the small tattoo on each arm; a shamrock overlapping an infinity symbol. The tattoos are cheap, not very well-made, but they’re meant to symbolize Abel’s seemingly infinite luck, the infinite crimes he gets away with, the infinite police officers he’s outrun and escaped.

Maybe today, his luck will finally run out.

Silver makes his way through the city into an old, poverty-stricken area full of crumbling apartments sprayed with graffiti. He knows this area well. People are always getting in trouble here: Domestic violence, gang violence, and drug busts, among other things. Abel and his gang have been here before, and Silver has a hunch that they’ve returned to their old stomping grounds.

He comes by a homeless man at one point, who Silver gives a few dollars and asks if he knows anything about Abel. The man points Silver to an apartment a few doors down, saying he could hear a baby crying a while ago but it has since quieted. Silver’s nerves spike as he thanks him and heads to the building.

He puts his ear against the door, and his super-hearing just barely picks up some odd sounds coming from below.

_The basement_.

Silver goes around to the back of the building, flying over a fence in the process, and reaches the door to the basement. He listens again just to be sure, and yes, he can definitely hear small, sad noises coming from inside. He remembers the second photo sent to Dr. Iplier, the one with a gun up against Yandere’s head, and shudders. As quietly as he can, he forces the door open. Luckily, he’s had practice, and from what he can hear, Abel and his men didn’t notice a thing. Silver listens to them talk as he heads down the stairs into the darkened room.

“You think the doc’s ever gonna reply?” says one henchman; Ricky, if Silver remembers right.

“Probably not, right?” says the other; Frank. “He’s just gonna show up with the cash. How many more hours do we gotta wait before we get rich?”

“Pipe down, both of you,” snaps Abel. Silver feels a burning in his chest to hear him. “We’ve attracted enough suspicion already with this kid’s yelling. We just gotta lay low until we can get the money.”

As Silver gets closer, he can better hear Yandere’s quiet whimpering. He feels a pang of sympathy for him as he peeks around the corner of the room, finally able to see the others. There’s enough shadow around him to keep him from being seen so long as he’s still, so he waits, assessing the threat and figuring out who to go for first. Abel is the furthest from Silver, sitting on an armchair with the gun from the photo still in his hand. Yandere is near him, placed on the floor, crying as quietly as he can manage. His cheek doesn’t look any better than it did in the photo. Ricky and Frank are sitting on a couch, with Frank clearly bored of waiting around and Ricky much more anxious.

“What if we get caught before that?” Ricky asks. “That doctor could’ve gone to the cops anyway.”

“Not if he gives a shit about the kid,” Abel counters. “We see any cops when we get the cash tomorrow, and we kill the kid.”

“You know…” Frank muses. “We could just kill him now. That way we don’t have to worry about keeping him quiet.”

Silver’s blood runs cold as Ricky and Abel consider.

“That’s way too risky!” Ricky cries, “How’re we gonna return the kid if he’s dead??”

“We’d just put him in a box or something,” Abel says, thinking out loud, “Tell him not to open it until we leave…then we get the cash without babysitting.” He grins. “Looks like you _do_ have a decent idea every once in a while, Frank.”

“Damn right,” Frank says proudly.

Silver’s heart beats faster as Abel bends down and grabs Yandere in one arm, holding him much like he did in the photo. Yandere screams out at being picked up, but Abel points the gun at his face to silence him.

“Shut up,” he growls, “This is already gonna be loud, I don’t need you making it louder.”

“Are you really sure about this, Abel?” Ricky asks, “There’s no way someone isn’t gonna hear the shot. Shouldn’t we at least take him somewhere else?”

“And risk being seen with this loud little shit?” Abel asks, giving Yandere a rough shake, making him yelp. “Nah, it’s better to do it in here.”

“That’s really not a good idea.”

Abel looks up, and Ricky and Frank turn in their seat, just in time for Silver to grab them both by the hair and knock their heads together. They slide to the floor as soon as they’re released, out cold. Abel merely grins.

“You gotta ruin everything, huh, Shepherd?” he asks, tightening his hold on Yandere. He doesn’t move the gun from where it points at Yandere’s face.

“I could say the same to you,” Silver replies evenly, walking around the couch and past the goons to get closer to Abel. “Stealing a baby for ransom and planning to kill him? That’s a new low even for you.”

As Silver speaks, Yandere’s head turns toward him, eyes following his walk around the couch.

“Sibew?” he asks, tentative but hopeful.

“Yep,” Abel answers Yandere, “But it doesn’t matter. He’s not fast enough to stop me if I fired this gun right now.”

“Maybe not,” Silver admits, “But you know, this baby doesn’t know who I am because of my reputation.”

“Wait…” Abel’s expression sours. “You _know_ this kid??”

“Yes.” Silver’s eyes narrow. “And I don’t take kindly to people who threaten my family.”

“I’m not scared of you, Shepherd!” Abel pushes the gun into Yandere’s cheek, making him wail.

“Clearly.” Silver takes another step closer. “But I’m not the only person looking for this child. People much more powerful than me are out for blood looking for him. If you give him to me without a fight, I’ll give you and your friends the chance to escape.”

“What, you won’t even arrest us?” Abel asks, now confused.

“There’s not enough time,” Silver explains, “You’re lucky those people I mentioned haven’t already found you. The moment they get here you’re all as good as dead.”

“Aren’t you gonna save us, then?” Abel says, grinning despite his confusion. “You don’t like killing people, do you?”

“I don’t, but it’s not up to me. I already told you those guys are more powerful than me,” Silver reminds him, “And this isn’t like what you’ve done in the past. You’ve made this personal. I’m not going to keep you guys here but I won’t go out of my way for you. It just can’t be done. Your choices are to hand the baby over and leave or refuse and be killed.”

“I’m holding the baby, remember? I’ll take him with me.”

“I’ll stop you. This isn't like the past when I had better things to do than catch you. And when I stop you, I might decide to stop being so generous and handcuff you to the staircase railing, so you'll be here when the others come looking.”

“You have to be bluffing!” Abel doesn't sound as sure of himself as he did a few minutes ago, but he stays loud and brash regardless, still holding the gun to Yandere.

“What if he's not, though?” Ricky groans from the ground, apparently recovered enough to contribute. “This kid ain't worth it, man.”

“Three million dollars _is_ worth it!” Abel argues.

“That doctor doesn't have three million dollars to give you,” Silver interjects, “The only way he could get that money is if the police were able to secure it for him, and there's no way they could get such a huge amount. They'd have already had him text you back asking to negotiate.”

“So he didn't tell the cops,” Frank says from the floor, barely audible but somehow still smug.

“No, but he didn't need to. Because he has me, and those people I mentioned before. The ones who will absolutely kill all three of you if they find you, whether the baby is alive or not.”

Abel considers, frowning deeply. Silver stares back, keeping his nerves down and projecting quiet confidence. Finally, after several long moments, Abel angrily stuffs the gun into the waistband of his pants and storms over to Silver, roughly handing Yandere over.

“Here’s the stupid kid,” he growls. He looks down to address his goons, still rolling on the floor, dazed. “Come on, let's beat it already.”

“Give us a minute, will ya!?” Ricky protests, groaning.

Silver just grins as Abel curses and starts trying to pull his men away. He leaves the room with a wave, which Abel pointedly ignores.

As he walks up the stairs, Silver expects Yandere to fuss and struggle. He's heard from others how picky he is about who holds him, and it's not like him and Yandere are normally close. But Yandere just clings to him for dear life, crying into his chest. Silver’s heart aches like it always does when he sees a child in distress–worse, even, since no child has never been family before. Silver tries to soothe him as he exits the basement.

“I know that was scary, I know,” he murmurs, stroking Yandere's hair despite his giant gloves. “But you're safe now, those bad men aren't gonna hurt you anymore.”

“Wan' Dada!” Yandere sobs.

“I know you do, I'm gonna take you home right now,” Silver reassures him, “Your dada will be so happy to see you.”

Yandere sniffles, but seems a little less upset than before. Silver isn’t exactly sure what to do next. Obviously he has to get Yandere home, but he’s not sure how. He could walk, of course, but that’d take forever. He flew here, and it’d be easiest to fly back, but not every baby enjoys flying like Silver does. Some do love it, but others get sick or freak out, and after everything Yandere’s been through today, Silver doesn’t want to make him feel worse…But then again, the sooner he gets home the better he’ll feel, no matter how he gets there.

“Yandere, I’m gonna fly us home,” Silver tells him, “So you need to hold on tight, okay?”

“Fie?” Yandere asks, tilting his head.

“Yep.” Silver lifts off the ground, beginning to hover. “See?” He inclines his head down. Yandere looks down, too, and gawks at Silver’s feet standing a few inches above the ground. He seems okay, and Silver knows from experience that getting it over with is better than going slow, so he takes off into the air until he’s at his desired height. Yandere jumps a little as they go but otherwise doesn’t react.

Silver stays hovering in place, now much higher off the ground, as Yandere looks around himself and down in confusion. This is the critical moment, right before it sinks into a baby’s mind that they’re in the air and they decide whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing. After looking around, Yandere looks back to Silver.

“Ub?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Silver laughs, “We’re up!”

Yandere laughs, too, and Silver feels a wave of relief go through him knowing that he’s not traumatizing Yandere further.

He flies home slower than normal at first, but Yandere keeps shouting for him to go faster. Silver has to remind him more than once to be still and hold on, as he keeps bouncing and wiggling in excitement, pointing out clouds and birds and buildings around them. All Silver can hear is the rush of the wind and Yandere’s giggly shrieks. By the time Silver touches down in front of Ego Inc., Yandere’s hair is a poofy, fluffy mess, and the only tears left on his cheeks are from the wind in his eyes. He’s still laughing and shouting with excitement as Silver walks inside.

“Mo’ fie!” he yells.

“We can’t right now,” Silver tells him, “You gotta see your dada, remember?”

Yandere gasps, as though he did forget, and becomes excited all over again.

“Dada!!” Yandere cries.

“We’re getting there, calm down!” Silver laughs.

He tends not to fly indoors–normally walking suffices–but for Yandere, he flies up the stairwell to the third floor instead of taking the elevator. Yandere clearly enjoys it, and he’s full of giggles as Silver heads to the clinic. He figures Dr. Iplier is there, either healing from his head wound or trying to get back to work.

The answer turns out to be more or less both. He enters the clinic to see Dr. Iplier with a bandage around his head, pacing the floor as Plus follows him around, trying to urge him back to bed. The Host is there too, observing the scene. By the looks of it, this has been going on for a while.

“Doctor! You are injured and you need to rest!” Plus insists as he follows Dr. Iplier, “You have a concussion, and if you overwork yourself, you increase your risk of–”

“I know, I know!” Dr. Iplier snaps, nerves clear in his voice.

“Then get back in bed already!”

“I can’t, not until Yandere’s back here. I need to know he’s safe!”

At that point, the Host smiles gently.

“The Host suggests that Dr. Iplier direct his attention to the door,” he quips.

Dr. Iplier does, and then does a double-take as he sees Silver standing there with Yandere in his arms.

“I found him,” Silver says with a lopsided grin.

“Dada!” Yandere shouts, reaching out for Dr. Iplier.

Dr. Iplier’s shock melts into deep relief as he practically runs to Silver, taking Yandere from him and hugging him close.

“Oh, Yan,” he gasps, already teary, “Oh, my boy, my baby, you’re here, you’re okay–” He presses kisses to Yandere’s unbruised cheek, his messy hair, and his forehead, over and over. Yandere giggles at all the affection, throwing his tiny arms around Dr. Iplier’s neck.

Silver can’t help but feel a burst of joy watching them reunite. This is the part of his job that he never gets tired of: The moments where he succeeds, where he saves someone’s life or brings them home, and he gets to see their loved ones rejoice at having them back safe and alive. Host and Plus are feeling good, too, both smiling gently as they watch Dr. Iplier smother Yandere with kisses. Host seems to feel Silver looking at him, and he meets his gaze with a different sort of smile, like he’d been hoping for this future all along. Silver stands a little straighter, proud to have proved Host right. Dr. Iplier eventually looks up from Yandere to speak to Silver.

“Silver, thank you,” he says, tears of joy beginning to roll down his cheeks, “Just…thank you so much.”

“No sad!!” Yandere yells, reaching for Dr. Iplier’s face to wipe his tears. Silver and Dr. Iplier both laugh.

“No need to thank me,” Silver says, earnest and gentle, “It’s what I do.”

Still, Silver appreciates it, more than he could ever say.

A few moments later, Dark and Wilford suddenly appear in a mess of black fog. Silver manages not to yelp in surprise–an achievement, considering Wilford is covered in blood. Apparently Abel and his men weren’t fast enough, Silver thinks with a shudder.

“I don’t get it,” Wilford huffs, “We went right where the Googles told us to go and we didn’t–” He stops as he finally notices Yandere, who begins to make grabby hands towards him and Dark. “Kiddo! There you are!”

Wilford steps forward to take him, but Dr. Iplier steps back.

“Not before you shower,” he says.

“Oh, come on!” Wilford mutters, “Yan doesn’t care about blood!”

“ _Normal_ Yan doesn’t, but I’d rather not traumatize him further,” Dr. Iplier retorts. “Besides, it’s unsanitary.”

Wilford huffs before poofing away.

Dark, however, is clean, and when he moves to take Yandere, Dr. Iplier lets him. As he holds Yandere, his aura settles around them both, calmer and bluer than Silver has ever seen it look before. Yandere coos happily as he hugs Dark’s neck, and Dark allows himself the tiniest smile in return.

“I’m glad you’re home, love,” he murmurs, smoothing down Yandere’s messy hair.

But then Dark looks at Silver, and despite the calmness of his aura, his gaze turns hard and piercing. Silver notices a single spot of blood on his shirt collar and represses a shiver, but despite this, he doesn’t feel quite so powerless facing Dark this time. He meets his gaze with the same self-assurance he’d met Abel’s with, and waits for Dark to speak.

“Thank you,” Dark finally says, voice even but tense, like it physically hurts him to swallow his pride.

Silver knows he could gloat, say he told them so, or any number of things to put Dark down. But…he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t need to. Yandere is home, safe and happy, and that’s all that matters.

“No need,” Silver replies simply, “It’s what I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silver is an underappreciated gud boi and I love him ;;w;;


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Jims decide to film a documentary about Yandere's condition. It's exactly what you'd expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I'M A DAY LATE i was hanging out with fam yesterday ;w;
> 
> After the craziness of the last couple chapters, I think y'all need a break. Have an angst-free chapter for once nwn"
> 
> Enjoy!

The film opens without a title card, credits, or any sort of introduction. On the screen is Reporter Jim, already going somewhere, microphone in hand. The camera shakes slightly as the cameraman–Cameraman Jim, no doubt–follows RJ along. RJ appears to be in a hallway of Ego Inc., the exact hall is not determinable.

“We have some exciting news, today, Jim!” RJ says, excited but whispering, “So exciting, that we can’t just make a news segment! No, this is too good! So this is gonna be a documentary!” He suddenly quiets and hides behind a corner, as does CJ. “Shh, Jim!” he insists. CJ makes a small noise of confusion from behind the camera.

Ed Edgar walks by, and despite their hiding, sees them immediately.

“The hell are you boys doin’?” he asks.

“Secret-filming!” RJ exclaims. He remembers he’s supposed to be quiet, and whispers, “We’re making a documentary! There’s a scoop that deserves even more than Jim News!”

“…You mean Yan–”

“Shhhhh! No spoilers, Cowboy Jim!!”

“I ain’t no cowboy, I don’t know why you knuckleheads keep callin’ me that.”

“We’re looking for the scoop!” RJ holds the microphone to Ed. “Do you know where to find it?”

“In the clinic, I reckon,” Ed says, a little disgruntled at the microphone in his face. “Now git! I ain’t got time for yer shenanigans!”

RJ dashes off and the camera follows, bouncing as CJ runs. RJ keeps looking back to the camera to speak.

“Good, good, a lead!” he pants, “Let’s go find the scoop!”

Their running pauses as they get into an elevator. RJ presses the button for the third floor, and they go up. RJ says nothing, and neither does CJ. There’s no cut, no skip ahead, just several long moments as the elevator goes up, hits the third floor, stops, and opens. Then the frenetic pace kicks up again as RJ rushes down the empty hallway. When he reaches the clinic, he suddenly stops, and the camera crashes into him. Amidst the rustling, a tiny “Ow, Jim!” from RJ is heard, and then the camera pulls back to a normal distance–well, normal to the Jims. The view is so close that only RJ’s face is visible.

“Okay, Jim,” RJ whispers, “We’re about to see the scoop! And get the scoop! But not physically–news-ically! You ready?” The camera moves up and down. “Okay, let’s go!”

RJ opens the door to the clinic, revealing Dr. Iplier sitting at a desk, typing on a laptop. Yandere sits near his feet, playing with some wooden blocks. The camera zooms in on him as close as it can.

“It’s incredible!” RJ exclaims, still trying to be quiet. Yandere looks up from his blocks in the camera’s direction. “Stabby Jim has been transformed into a Tiny Jim!”

“What–” Dr. Iplier’s voice is heard, though the camera continues to focus on Yandere.

“It’s Jim News, Doctor Jim!” RJ says, no longer being quiet. “It’s better than Jim News! It’s a documentary about Stabby Jim!”

Dr. Iplier sighs.

“A documentary, huh?” he asks, sounding resigned. His arms come into view as he picks up Yandere, and the camera follows him up, shaking a lot due to how zoomed in the lenses are. “What exactly were you planning to do?”

“Observe and report!” RJ answers, “And maybe interview! That’s what happens in documentaries, right?” Presumably, CJ nods. “This is historic, Doctor Jim!” RJ continues, “The first documentary made by Jim News!”

“Well, look, I don’t have time for interviewing,” Dr. Iplier says. Yandere sits happily in his arms, looking up at him while he talks. “But…I _guess_ you two can stay in here and film if you really want to. As long as Yandere doesn’t leave this room, and you two are careful with him, I’ll allow it.”

“Yes sir!” RJ exclaims. The camera zooms in away from Yandere and turns to RJ, as close as before, if not closer. “We’re still secret-filming,” he whispers conspiratorially, “We’re observing Stabby Jim in his natural state! Doctor Jim has declined to comment. But we have pre-recorded interviews to give us more of the details! Cut to the interviews Ji–”

The scene abruptly cuts to a second of static, which then cuts to Bim sitting in Wilford’s Warfstache Tonight stage. Words fade in along the bottom of the screen: “Bim Jim: Show Host, Magic-Haver.” Bim’s expression shows some annoyance.

“Look,” he says, “I don’t know what Wilford told you, but this is _not_ my fault. It was so obviously _his_ magic that turned Yandere into a baby, but I still got tossed in the void for my trouble. And then I got stuck in there _again_ after Wilford tried to make me babysit him–no thanks to you two. I’m not saying any more than that. I’m not looking to get punished by Dark a third time for bad-mouthing him.”

Another cut to static, and then to Wilford, sitting in the same stage. He appears as his typical happy self, with the words “Pink Jim: Show Host, Shooty Expert” on the bottom of the screen.

“Well, Bim did it, everyone knows that. But I don’t mind it! Yanny’s real cute as a baby, though he’s a bit of a pain to babysit. Bim coulda handled him just fine if he’d given it a shot! Between you and me, I don’t think Yanny likes him that much. You should’ve seen the first time he tried to carry him! Yan was squirming and whining up a storm, and he started pulling Bim’s hair! It was peak comedy, I tell ya.”

The camera cuts again, to static and then back to the clinic. The words “Dramatic Reenactment” are emblazoned in slightly transparent font in the bottom left corner of the screen. Yandere is being held by RJ, and is clearly unhappy about it. He squirms in his arms, grabbing at his hair and yanking.

“Ow! Holy Jim, ow!” RJ yells as Yandere pulls his hair. “D-did you get the shot, CJ? Was it good?”

The camera moves up and down as Dr. Iplier’s voice and approaching footsteps are heard off-screen.

“Hey, what are you doing? I told you to be careful, let him–”

The camera cuts to Yandere back on the floor, playing happily with his blocks. The “Dramatic Reenactment” banner is gone. RJ is near Yandere, almost on his belly on the floor, holding the microphone to Yandere.

“Can you give us some words about the situation, Stabby Jim?” RJ asks.

Yandere looks at him and at the microphone, before dropping his block and batting the microphone, resulting in muffled thumps. He leans forward and bites the end of it, making a wet noise, and starts chewing, causing loud rustling.

“Very true, very true,” RJ says, nodding seriously. “Now, Stabby Jim, is it true that you were kidnapped a few days ago? The Jim News viewers want to know!”

Yandere stops chewing and looks at him, tilting his head.

“Excellent, but give us more! Give us the real nitty-gritty!”

“Sibew come,” Yandere says, “We fie!” He throws his hands in the air to demonstrate.

“Amazing!” RJ exclaims, “Perhaps we will talk to Hero Jim next!”

CJ’s hand briefly comes into view as he taps RJ’s shoulder. RJ looks at him as flickers of CJ’s signing can be seen at the edge of the screen. There’s not enough for the viewer to see what he’s saying, but RJ can see, and nods.

“We’ve received breaking news that Hero Jim is unavailable for comment, and probably will be all day, on account of his hero-ing,” RJ says, “So we will continue to observe Yandere and report all goings-on!”

The camera turns towards Yandere and zooms in as far as it can go. As the lens get closer to Yandere, his face scrunches up and he tries to turn his head away. But a few moments later, the camera is fully zoomed out, so close to Yandere that only half his face is visible. He whines in annoyance and grabs the camera with one hand, his thumb poking the lens and smudging the glass.

“No, Stabby Jim, don’t touch the camera!” RJ cries. The camera starts to shake as RJ begins steering it out of Yandere’s grip.

The footage cuts to Dr. Iplier setting Yandere in a high chair, with RJ hovering nearby. Dr. Iplier is clearly annoyed.

“What’s happening now, Doctor Jim?” RJ asks as he pushes the microphone at Dr. Iplier.

“I’m feeding him lunch,” Dr. Iplier says, “I figured that was obvious.” He straps Yandere into his seat as the camera moves closer, getting a view of the straps and buckles.

“What does Stabby Jim eat?” RJ asks, “Does he have Big Jim teeth to eat with, or Tiny Jim teeth?”

“He’s a baby, RJ. He has some teeth but he can’t eat like an adult yet.” Dr. Iplier frowns. “Wait, I already told you no interviews. I need to give Yandere his lunch, you and CJ entertain yourselves.”

“We’re very entertained! Right, CJ?”

The camera shakes up and down. Dr. Iplier sighs.

Still, he proceeds with feeding Yandere as the camera rolls and a music track begins to play; the cheerful ukulele tune found in YouTube videos. Yandere does most of the work himself, grabbing handfuls of cheerios and applesauce and shoving them in his mouth, despite Dr. Iplier’s attempts to spoon-feed him the applesauce. He has a sippy cup full of milk that he takes and drinks from occasionally, using both hands to hold it up. Dr. Iplier’s annoyance with the Jims quickly melts away into affection and humor as he watches Yandere, keeping him from dropping or knocking food onto the floor and making sure he doesn’t put too much in his mouth at once, eventually giving up on spoon-feeding him applesauce.

RJ, who has moved out of the view of the camera to let the scene play out, speaks up in a whisper.

“This is probably what happens every day when Stabby Jim has to eat! Tiny Jims are incredible marvels of nature, aren’t they, Jim?”

The camera shakes a little as CJ likely nods, and the filming continues for a few more moments.

“Now, let’s hear some words from other people close to Stabby Jim on the situation!”

There’s a cut to what seems to be pre-recorded footage, and the cheery music stops. Onscreen is Google Chrome, standing in the control room with RJ’s microphone in his face, inches away from his scowl. A banner along the bottom says “Red Jim: Robot, Grumpypants.”

“Yeah, Yandere’s a baby,” Chrome says, “Who cares? He’ll change back soon. Go bother someone else.”

“But how do you feel about it?” RJ persists, pushing the microphone even closer. The camera moves closer as well. Chrome’s scowl deepens, and his eyes start to glow red.

“I _feel_ like I’m going to take your microphone and shove it down your throat if you idiots don’t get out of my face _right now._ ”

RJ yelps and dashes out of view, and the camera follows in jerky, shaky movements.

Another cut shows RJ outside of Darkiplier’s office, crouched down as if hiding, even though the door to the office is closed. Although Dark is not on screen, his banner appears along the bottom anyway: “Dark Jim: Big Boss, Demon(?)”

“We need to tread very carefully, Jim!” RJ whispers. The camera zooms in claustrophobically close to him as he talks. “Dark Jim can give us lots of news, but he’s also scary and grumpy! So we need to be good Jims!”

“What do you want?” Dark growls from inside his office. RJ jumps, as does the camera, and the lens zoom out as RJ stands up.

“It’s the Jims!” RJ calls through the door. “We’re doing a special documentary about Stabby Jim! Can you give us a few words?” He pauses. “Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Oh, pretty pretty please, Dark Jim? Pretty please with Jim on top?”

“The only thing I’m _giving_ you two is five seconds to stop interrupting my work and leave me in peace.”

“But Dark Jim–!”

“One.”

The camera lens suddenly cracks all the way across with a loud snap, startling a cry of fear from both Jims.

“Two.”

“Run, Jim, run!” RJ shouts, and the screen blurs behind the crack as the pair flee.

The footage cuts back to the clinic, and the view is close to the floor. The camera seems to have been set on the ground still running. CJ is on screen instead of behind the camera, laying on his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows. Yandere is sitting across from him, putting a block down as he looks at CJ.

_Hi,_ CJ mouths, giving Yandere a little wave. Without the spoken greeting, Yandere seems a bit confused, reaching out and grabbing two of CJ’s fingers. CJ laughs and lets Yandere pull his hand closer to himself. Yandere looks at CJ’s hand with great concentration, before pulling his fingers into his mouth to chew on. At that, CJ makes a small noise to stop him and pulls his hand away. He shakes his head at Yandere, but Yandere just grins and starts to giggle. He reaches for CJ’s hand again, but CJ doesn’t seem to mind. He starts to laugh a little, too as Yandere grabs his hand again.

One cut later, CJ has apparently given up on getting Yandere not to chew his hand, because the baby is happily gnawing away at the fingers on his left hand. CJ now sits cross-legged facing the camera, his hand off to the side in Yandere’s hold. The view suggests that the camera is off the ground, now on a tripod or some other sort of stand keeping it still.

“What’s it like getting chewed on, CJ?” RJ asks from behind the camera. Despite his question, his tone is completely serious. CJ’s expression is almost equally serious as he signs in response, finger-spelling with his free hand.

“ _Weird and gummy._ ” He grimaces as Yandere bites down particularly hard. “ _But also toothy._ ”

“Amazing! He must be teething! Perhaps that’s why he chews on the blocks! We’ve cracked the case, Jim!”

“ _Did it…really need cracking?_ ”

“Hey!” Dr. Iplier interjects from off-screen. “Don’t let Yandere chew on your fingers! That has to hurt, and your fingers have germs from carrying around that camera all day!”

“ _He started it!_ ” CJ signs quickly, ending with pointing to Yandere.

“I don’t doubt that,” Dr. Iplier concedes, voice getting a little louder as he comes closer, “But you can’t just let him do whatever he wants, especially if it’s not good for either of you.”

CJ nods, somewhat reluctant, and pulls his hand out of Yandere’s mouth. Yandere whines in protest at first, but Dr. Iplier comes into view, scooping Yandere off the ground as CJ gets up. There’s a cut, but to the same scene, and the camera quality and white balance are slightly different, indicating that RJ is now filming using a small camcorder. It shows Dr. Iplier ruffling Yandere’s hair to distract him from losing CJ’s hand, and CJ standing next to him, looking at his hand. The camcorder zooms in on CJ’s hand, which is slightly pruney from Yandere’s drool and has indents in several places from his baby teeth. Dr. Iplier’s hand enters the frame as well, taking CJ’s hand and turning it over to get a good look.

“Well, at least Yan didn’t break the skin,” Dr. Iplier muses, “We would’ve had a biohazard contamination on our hands.” He pauses. “So to speak.”

“Even as a Tiny Jim, Stabby Jim is still a powerful warrior!” RJ exclaims from behind the camcorder. “Instead of stabbing with a stabby, he stabs with his chompers! Such innovation!” The camera pulls away from CJ’s hand to focus on Yandere, still in Dr. Iplier’s arms. “Do you have anything to add, Stabby Jim?”

Yandere just laughs and reaches out his arms, as though he wants to grab the camcorder right out of RJ’s hands.

The film stops there on a freeze frame and credits begin to roll as the ukulele music from earlier plays. Every role is credited to “Jim,” aside from the other egos featured who are credited as playing themselves.

The screen goes black as the film ends. RJ and CJ, standing on either side of the computer screen the film was playing on, turn to Bim and Wilford, who are sitting across from it.

“Well?” asks RJ. “What do you think?”

There’s a long pause. Wilford is stroking his moustache in thought, and Bim is stone-faced and put out.

“That was the worst documentary I’ve ever seen,” Bim says, deadpan. RJ and CJ pout.

“But,” Wilford puts in, “It’s extremely entertaining.”

“Was it informative? Newsical?” RJ asks.

“Very!”

RJ cheers, and CJ beams. Bim shakes his head with a grin.

“You two are so weird. Tell you what, if you let me market this as a comedy video instead of a documentary, I’ll play a clip of it on Hire My Ass. Pretend it’s from a sponsor.”

“I think I’m gonna put the whole thing on Warfstache Tonight,” Wilford muses, “It’ll be a special episode! Everyone loves baby videos, it’ll be a hit!”

“Thank you, Pink Jim! And you too, Bim Jim!” RJ exclaims as CJ excitedly signs the same. The twins tackle-hug them both, making Wilford laugh and Bim yelp with surprise.

“No trouble at all, boys!” Wilford says.

“Hey, watch the hair!” Bim cries.

After the twins leave, giving Bim and Wilford USB drives of their film, Wilford turns to Bim with a grin.

“I’m glad they had fun with Yanny! Maybe they’ll be friends when he turns back to normal.”

“I doubt it,” Bim says, smoothing out his hair, “They’re kinda scared of Yandere, and I don’t blame them.” He shudders. “I feel like he’d stab me if he thought it would make Dark like him more.”

“Aw, c’mon Bim, what’s a little stabbing between friends?” Wilford laughs, putting an arm around Bim’s shoulder and ruffling his hair, messing it up again.

Bim shouts indignantly and struggles to escape Wilford’s arm around him as Wilford guffaws loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Jims are my weird sons and I love them. Maybe I'll write a fic solely about them at some point :3c


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things haven't changed, and one of those things is Yandere's propensity for nightmares. Luckily, his dad is there to comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, it's Dr. Dad's chapter. If I haven't convinced you that Doc is dad material from the rest of this fic, maybe this chapter will do it XD
> 
> This chapter's short and sweet, so I hope you enjoy it!

Late one night, Dr. Iplier is awoken by crying.

He groans as he forces his tired body into a sitting position in bed. He turns on his bedside lamp and rubs his eyes as the crying continues, coming from Yandere’s crib.

“I hear you, sweetheart,” Dr. Iplier says through a yawn, “Give me one moment.”

He gets out of bed and pads over to Yandere’s crib, looking inside to see the baby red-faced, tears running down his cheeks as he sobs harshly. He reaches out for Dr. Iplier, begging to be held. Dr. Iplier’s heart twists a little.

“Easy, sweet pea, I’m here,” Dr. Iplier murmurs as he lifts Yandere out of the crib and hugs him to his chest. Yandere grabs onto the strap of his tank top and bawls into his shoulder as Dr. Iplier strokes his hair and gently sways in place.

It’s far from rare for babies to wake up during the night like this. Dr. Iplier knows that, and this isn’t the first time he’s been woken up by Yandere’s cries. Normally a few minutes of soothing are all he needs to go back to sleep…that is, that _was_ all he needed until after the kidnapping incident. Babies rarely have nightmares, Dr. Iplier knows; night terrors are much more common, and although they’re frightening for parents, the baby always wakes up fine, with no memory of what made them thrash and cry in their sleep during the night. But it’s too much of a coincidence that Yandere began to wake up crying nearly every night since the kidnapping for it not to be caused by nightmares. He’s not a normal human baby, after all, so anything is possible. In the week since the incident, Yandere has awoken in tears five different nights, and is harder and harder to soothe each time. During the day, he seems fine and happy, but it all seems to come back at night. Dr. Iplier has a multitude of remedies he could offer if Yandere were his normal age, but none of those would work on a baby. All he can do is comfort, but he feels like his comfort is getting less and less effective with each passing night. It breaks his heart so see his boy so upset and to know there’s very little he can do.

“Shhh, honeybee, shhhhh,” he whispers, kissing the top of Yandere’s head, “It’s okay, you’re safe, Dada’s here…”

Yandere’s crying barely lessens, and his sobs stutter as he starts to get the hiccups. It only serves to make him more miserable, and his howling somehow gets louder. At this rate he’ll wake the whole building, but Dr. Iplier just wants him to stop feeling so upset.

“Oh, little lamb, I know,” he murmurs, leaning down to kiss Yandere’s tear-stained cheek, “I know you’re upset. You had a bad dream about those terrible people who took you, didn’t you? Hey, hey, shh,” he says gently, soothing Yandere after a particularly harsh wail, “You don’t have to be scared, you’re safe at home, and those bad people are gone. I’m right here, I’ll keep you safe.”

Even as he says that, Dr. Iplier wonders if it’s any comfort. Those men were able to swoop in and kidnap Yandere with little effort. Dr. Iplier had spent the hour after the incident cursing at himself for not being more aware of his surroundings, for not fighting harder when they’d first grabbed him, for not being able to stop them from hurting Yandere (he’s heard and seen that slap in his own dreams more than once) and taking him away. He’d replayed the whole thing in his mind a hundred times, even after his despair gave way to restless anticipation. He'd paced the clinic floor as Plus tried to urge him back to bed, mind mulling over all the things he could’ve done differently. He’d hoped that it was over when Silver brought Yandere back happy and well, but though children are resilient, babies are more aware than many think.

Some minutes of whispered words, soft swaying, and even a little bouncing have almost no effect on Yandere’s distress. His hiccups go away at some point but his sobs persist, and Dr. Iplier starts to wonder if there’s anything else he can do. There has to be _something_ , anything that’s better than trying to comfort Yandere until he cries himself to sleep. He tries to give Yandere a pacifier, but he won’t take it, letting it fall out of his mouth the first time and pushing it away when Dr. Iplier tries again. It’s too late at night to give him a food treat to distract him, and he’s no doubt too tired to play. Dr. Iplier knows from experience that aggressive positivity, big smiles and playfulness and quickly spoken reassurances, only work on Yandere if he’s on the cusp of tears, not already crying. He doesn’t want to spend all night soothing Yandere, but more importantly, he doesn’t want Yandere to spend all night in tears.

Yandere suddenly breathes in wrong and starts to cough, and Dr. Iplier moves his hand from his hair to his back, rubbing in circles.

“Easy, lovebug, you’re okay,” Dr. Iplier tells him, “Did some spit go down the wrong pipe?”

Yandere catches his breath, and Dr. Iplier wonders if the pause might make him realize he’s too tired to cry anymore. But the moment passes, and Yandere whimpers before he starts to cry again.

“Oh, Yan,” Dr. Iplier sighs, sad for his baby all over again, “Shhhh, shh-shh-shh…”

He starts to hum as he resumes swaying, not any song in particular, just a soft slow tune he makes up as he goes along.

Suddenly a thought occurs to him: What if he sang to comfort Yandere? It’s something that babies tend to like, and Dr. Iplier hasn’t tried it before. At the very least, maybe it’ll lessen his tears. What to sing, though? Dr. Iplier has some bands he likes, but most of their work isn’t suited for lullabies, and he doesn’t know all the words to every song. He tries to think about songs he does know, songs that are sweet and slow and pleasant, something that can serve as a lullaby even if it wasn’t meant to be one.

He gets an idea, and smiles softly as he looks down at Yandere, laying a hand on his cheek and wiping tears. Yandere looks up at him with round, wet eyes.

“I see fields of green,” Dr. Iplier sings, “Red roses, too…” Yandere tilts his head. “I see them bloom, for me and you…” Dr. Iplier sways to the tune as he continues, gently moving back and forth. “And I think to myself…what a wonderful world…”

None of the egos can sing like MarkBop can, but all of them can at least carry a tune thanks to Mark’s efforts to learn how to sing. Dr. Iplier wouldn’t describe his singing as anything special, but he's able to keep his voice low and smooth. Although Yandere continues to cry, he seems highly focused on Dr. Iplier’s voice.

“I see skies of blue, and clouds of white,” Dr. Iplier continues, “The bright, blessed days, the dark, sacred nights…” Yandere sniffles, and Dr. Iplier gently pokes his nose, smiling as he scrunches up his face. “And I think to myself…what a wonderful world…”

Yandere, though still very much crying, isn’t bawling like he was before. His sobs are more sniffly and quiet, like he wants to feel better but doesn’t quite yet. Dr. Iplier keeps rocking him and wiping his tears as he sings.

“The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky,” he continues, pressing a quick kiss to Yandere’s forehead between lines, “Are also on the faces, of people going by…I see friends shaking hands,” he gently takes one of Yandere’s tiny hands in his, “Saying how do you do…” He presses a kiss to Yandere’s fingers, and the baby looks up at him with only slightly teary eyes. “They’re really saying, I love you…”

Yandere yawns, squeezing what seem to be the last few tears out of his eyes and down his cheeks. His face is still a bit red from all his exertion, but he’s much calmer than he was before Dr. Iplier started singing. Dr. Iplier releases his hand, and Yandere rubs his eyes.

“I hear babies cry,” Dr. Iplier goes on, laughing a little as he nuzzles Yandere’s hair, “I watch them grow…” He presses his forehead to Yandere’s. “They’ll learn so much more, than I’ll ever know…” Yandere finally smiles, a tiny, tired grin. “And I think to myself…what a wonderful world…” Dr. Iplier slowly stops swaying, letting the rhythm reach its end. “Yes, I think to myself…” One more kiss, this time to Yandere’s sticky cheek. “What a wonderful world.”

Yandere lets out a tired giggle before snuggling into Dr. Iplier’s shoulder. Dr. Iplier gently puts Yandere’s pacifier in his mouth again, and this time he accepts it without protest, slowly sucking as he leans against the doctor’s shoulder. Dr. Iplier carries him back to his crib, kissing the top of his head before laying him down.

“I love you, Yan,” he murmurs, adoringly stroking Yandere’s cheek. “I love you so, so much.” Yandere, already almost asleep, doesn’t respond, but Dr. Iplier beams down at him regardless. He yawns, taking his hand away from Yandere’s cheek to cover his mouth. “Time for Dad to go to sleep, too,” he muses, half to himself.

He goes back to bed and turns off his bedside lamp, falling asleep nearly as fast as Yandere did. The rest of the night passes peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....So yeah, Doc and Yan have a song now. Don't look at me like that, I wrote this fic, ofc I'm ok, I'm not having any feelings at all. None. Zero.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ;w;


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Host goes to Dr. Iplier's clinic for his typical weekly bandage change and eye cleaning. Not so typical is Yandere's presence there, but it's not a bad change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Host! I love shipping Doc and Host! So even though this fic is G-rated, I'd rate this chapter as T because stuff gets a little...suggestive ;) Nothing too crazy though lmao
> 
> Enjoy!

It’s a bright morning in the clinic when the Host goes in for a bandage change. He changes his bandages himself every day; he has to, lest he bleed all over everything. But he goes to Dr. Iplier once a week to get his eye sockets and the area around them thoroughly cleaned, since Host can’t clean them very well himself. He always looks forward to these weekly appointments, not just because they make him feel more comfortable, but because they give him an excuse to spend time with Dr. Iplier. Not that he really needs one, but Dr. Iplier tends to be so busy with his practice, and Host enjoys having an hour where he has his doctor’s full attention. Now that Dr. Iplier has reduced his patient base to just the egos, Host enjoys the appointments even more. Of course, it means that the last couple appointments haven’t been as private as before, given that Yandere has to be in the room for Dr. Iplier to keep half an eye on. But Host can’t be bothered by it when he walks into cute scenes like the one before him now.

Dr. Iplier has Yandere sat on an examination table (Host can tell by the rustling Yandere makes as he moves), but instead of examining him, he’s playing peek-a-boo. Host hears him talking to Yandere as he walks in, and his quiet narration fills in the image of Dr. Iplier covering his eyes with both hands before playfully opening them, revealing Yandere, who giggles with excitement every time as Dr. Iplier exclaims that he’s found him. After a few repetitions, Dr. Iplier covers his eyes again and speaks pointedly.

“Ohhhhh, I sure hope Yandere keeps giggling,” he says, “Because if he stops giggling, I won’t be able to find him again!”

Yandere takes the hint, covering his mouth with both hands to stifle his own giggles. He’s not very good at it, but he’s definitely quieter than before. Dr. Iplier’s expression changes to exaggerated surprise and confusion, and he looks around, still covering his eyes.

“Now, _where_ did that baby go?” he asks, “I could’ve _sworn_ he was right here in front of me! Oh, Yaaaan,” he calls, “Where are youuuu?”

Yandere starts to giggle harder, but he keeps his mouth covered, squirming with the effort it takes to keep quiet. Despite how much louder he is, Dr. Iplier can tell he’s still trying to be quiet, and keeps looking around for Yandere and calling his name. Finally, he sighs.

“Well, I just can’t find him!” he exclaims. “Whatever should I do? Poor little Yan, he probably got lost somewhere, or maybe he’s out being a troublemaker!” Yandere continues to giggle, now closer to laughter as he loses what little composure he had. “I guess I’ll just have to leave and go look for him,” Dr. Iplier laments, beginning to step away.

“Ahn ‘ere!” Yandere yells, hardly decipherable through his laughter. Dr. Iplier jumps, and his jaw drops.

“Yan? Is that you??” He looks wildly around, eyes still covered. “Where did you go??”

“‘Ere!” Yandere laughs, reaching out and tugging on Dr. Iplier’s sleeve.

Dr. Iplier finally uncovers his eyes, looking at Yandere with a big smile.

“ _There_ you are, you goofball!” he exclaims, putting his hands on his hips. “I was looking everywhere for you! What do you have to say for yourself?”

Yandere can’t reply; he’s laughing too hard to speak.

“Well, you know what happens to naughty babies!” Dr. Iplier says, suddenly scooping Yandere up.

“Nooooooo!” Yandere shrieks.

Dr. Iplier brings Yandere close and blows a long raspberry into his cheek. Yandere squeals and squirms, but it’s clear he enjoys every moment of it. When Dr. Iplier stops, he peers at Yandere.

“Did you learn your lesson?”

Yandere nods, grinning.

“Hmmm…I better do it one more time, just in case!”

He blows a raspberry into Yandere’s other cheek, even longer than the first one, giving Yandere another laughing fit. After that raspberry ends, Yandere hugs Dr. Iplier’s neck, giggling.

“Lub Dada!” he exclaims.

“Love you, too, sweetheart,” Dr. Iplier, laughing a little himself.

As much as Host hates to interrupt, he _does_ want to get his eyes cleaned, so he chooses this moment to continue into the clinic and approach Dr. Iplier. The doctor looks up to see him come in, and Host doesn’t need his narration to see Dr. Iplier’s smile.

“Hey,” Dr. Iplier greets, still chuckling.

“Good morning, Doctor,” Host replies, “Having fun, are we?”

“‘Ost!” Yandere exclaims.

“Yes.” Host answers Yandere with a grin. “That’s correct.”

“I’m guessing you’re here for your bandage change?” Dr. Iplier asks. He smiles when Host nods. “Alright then, go ahead and sit down like usual and I’ll put this one in his playpen.”

It’s muscle memory that guides Host to the examination table to sit on. He’s done this so many times before that he hardly needs his narration to move around the clinic. He does use a little narration in order to see Dr. Iplier putting Yandere in his playpen, though.

“Be good, hon,” Dr. Iplier tells him, “I’m gonna check Host’s eyes and then I’m gonna play with you some more.”

“Pay now!” Yandere whines as Dr. Iplier walks away.

“We just played a minute ago,” Dr. Iplier says, gathering supplies, “It’s Host’s turn now.”

Yandere pouts, and Host grins as he narrates it.

“Would you call this “playing”?” Host asks Dr. Iplier as he walks up to him. Dr. Iplier snorts.

“Smartass,” Dr. Iplier chuckles, voice quiet so Yandere won’t hear it. Host can’t help but find it endearing that Dr. Iplier makes such an effort to censor himself, even though Yandere normally swears more than Dr. Iplier does.

It’s a strange thing, seeing Dr. Iplier like this. Not that Host is unfamiliar with his and Yandere’s relationship; Dr. Iplier had told him about it not long after Yandere became his son. But Yandere, for all his emotional needs, is self-sufficient at his core. He doesn’t need someone to raise him or protect him, or at least, he didn’t when he was normal. He depends on Dr. Iplier for everything in his current state, and to Host, it’s a little amazing to see how Dr. Iplier responds. Any new behavior from anyone attracts his attention; he’s a writer, after all. But he can’t help but be further endeared to Dr. Iplier when he sees how lovingly he treats Yandere now.

Host had always thought that Dr. Iplier would make a good father.

He’s pulled out of his reverie as Dr. Iplier removes his bandages. Host doesn’t mind the removal, even with Yandere in the room, but it instinctively startles him every time. He no longer jumps when Dr. Iplier touches his bandages, at least. His eyes–eye sockets, really–always feel strange without them, though. He blinks a few times to get rid of the feeling.

“Everything looks pretty normal,” Dr. Iplier says as he tosses the bandages in the garbage, “It doesn’t seem like you’ve been bleeding any more than usual, and you don’t seem to be bleeding much right now.” Host hears the sink running, likely as Dr. Iplier wets a cloth to clean up the worst of the blood. When he returns to Host, he pauses. “You ready for me to start?”

“Yes,” Host answers, smiling a little. He can practically feel Dr. Iplier’s returned smile in the air as the doctor starts to wipe away the blood.

Dr. Iplier always asks before he starts, but truthfully, this is Host’s favorite part of the weekly appointment. It’s relaxing to feel the warmth of the cloth, a relief to feel the blood come off his skin. Old blood congeals and dried blood sticks, so he always looks forward to getting all completely removed. He’d ask Dr. Iplier to do it for him every day if he could.

The next part is the part he hates.

Dr. Iplier finishes cleaning around his eye sockets, wiping his eyelids as well, before sitting the cloth down. Host can hear rustling as he gets his next tools ready: Sponges, some gauze, and a short pair of forceps, things normally used during surgery. This part of the exam tends to feel a bit like surgery anyway, though, at least to Host. Dr. Iplier seems to sense his apprehension and sighs.

“I know you don’t like this part,” Dr. Iplier sighs, “But you’ll feel–”

“–Better after it’s over, I know,” Host interrupts, “That does not make it any more pleasant.”

Dr. Iplier gently takes Host’s chin and kisses him softly. Host kisses back, despite his unease.

“I know,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, “But it’ll only get worse if you put it off. Remember when you’d just recently lost your eyes and wouldn’t let me clean them for a month?”

“That’s different,” Host mumbles. He feels a slight puff of breath on his face as Dr. Iplier holds in a laugh.

“Same idea, though,” Dr. Iplier insists, “If we put this off for another week it’ll be twice as bad. I don’t want you hurting any more than you have to.”

Host simply grunts, relenting. He knows Dr. Iplier is right, and he knows it’s best to get it over with. He hears Dr. Iplier move into position to begin, with forceps near Host’s left eye (Host can feel the metal ghosting over his eye socket).

“Ready for me to start?” Dr. Iplier asks, just as he did earlier.

“Yes,” Host answers, less happily this time.

This process, unlike the earlier wiping of Host’s cheeks, is laborious and painful. The forceps first move in to pull out tendrils and clots of congealed blood. The space in the eye socket is small enough that Host can feel whenever the forceps close around a clump of blood, and therefore has a moment to anticipate and dread the blood being pulled away. Most clots give easily but the sensation is crawling, uncomfortable, itchy in a way that nearly feels like pain. Host can’t even narrate to distract himself; it’d make his eyes bleed and prolong the cleaning process. He clutches the edge of the exam table he’s sitting on to keep from reflexively pushing Dr. Iplier’s hands away. One clot is particularly large and comes away with a wet, slithery pop that Host feels more than hears, and he can’t hold back a gasp.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, dabbing at the trickle of blood that starts to run from the edge of Host’s eye socket with a square of gauze.

Fortunately or unfortunately, most of the blood that’s dislodged by the clots stays pooled in Host’s eye socket. Every so often, Dr. Iplier goes in with surgical sponges to soak some of it up. It’s not as uncomfortable as the forceps, but it still makes the socket feel full and thick. It’s not nearly enough of a reprieve from the clot-pulling, but it’s all Host gets.

“Dada!” Yandere suddenly shouts from his playpen.

“One moment, sweetheart,” Dr. Iplier says, not looking away from Host, “I’m almost done here.”

Though Host still isn’t narrating, he can picture Yandere’s annoyed pout. Host knows normal Yandere to be clingy and attention-seeking, but it seems baby Yandere has him beat. A few moments later and Host’s eye is cleaned…still leaving one more to go. Host sighs as he loosens his grip on the edge of the table.

“Take a breather,” Dr. Iplier tells him, “I’ll do the other eye in a minute.” Host just nods.

He hears Dr. Iplier walks away to scoop up Yandere, and knows when the baby is in Dr. Iplier’s arms by his giggle. Dr. Iplier murmurs to him as he walks back to the Host, and Host can’t help but smile.

“I haven’t seen you so enamored by anything since you first fell in love with me,” Host muses. Dr. Iplier laughs.

“I hope you’re not jealous,” he says, “Yan’s just too cute like this.” He pauses. “Though, he’s been like this for a long while now, hasn’t he? I wonder when he’ll change back.”

“I couldn’t tell you,” Host replies, “I’ve tried to find out, but Wilford and Bim’s magic is unpredictable.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Dr. Iplier sighs. “I don’t know, maybe…maybe it’d be better if he stayed like this. That way he can’t get into fights, or have self-esteem and mental health issues all the time, or…”

“Trouble and strife follow figments wherever they go,” Host reminds him, “I don’t need to remind you of what happened in Ed’s nursery, or of the kidnapping incident. No matter how old Yandere is, the same problems will always arise.”

“I guess,” Dr. Iplier mutters, as Yandere coos in his arms.

Host grins, and spares a sentence of narration to see Dr. Iplier enough to lean forward and kiss him. Dr. Iplier hums against his lips, stepping closer. After a few moments, Yandere whines from between them.

“Gib giss!” he cries, reaching for Dr. Iplier’s chin and smacking Host in the process. The pair break apart in laughter.

“Do you know how many kisses you get every day?” Dr. Iplier chides playfully. He kisses Yandere’s cheeks anyway before he can reply, making him laugh. “You’re gonna be disappointed when I put you down in a minute.”

Ah, right, Host’s other eye. He’d nearly forgotten–or rather, he’d nearly made himself forget. He’s not looking forward to it, but he hopes it’s not as bad as the first eye. Dr. Iplier seems to notice his apprehension, and goes quiet for several moments.

“What?” Host asks.

“I think maybe you need something to distract you,” Dr. Iplier says, “Maybe…”

Suddenly, Yandere is on Host’s lap.

“Edward–!” Host gasps, grabbing onto Yandere quickly so he doesn’t fall, “Edward, take him back! I can’t hold him!”

“Sure you can,” Dr. Iplier replies gently, “He’s not going to fuss as long as I’m right here. And maybe if your focus is on having a baby in your lap then you won’t feel so uncomfortable during the treatment.”

So far, Dr. Iplier is right. Yandere doesn’t squirm or whine, instead sits calmly in Host’s lap. Host can feel Yandere lean back against his chest and tilt his head up, no doubt to look at Dr. Iplier.

“I thought you were worried about traumatizing him,” Host points out, “He’s sure to see blood if he stays here.”

“He’s been in the room that last few times I’ve cleaned your eyes,” Dr. Iplier reminds him, “I think he’s probably used to it by now.” Host can almost hear the kind smile on his face. “Give it a try, won’t you, Isaac?”

Host holds back a groan. He can’t resist Dr. Iplier when he uses Host’s real name, and they both know it.

“Fine,” Host mutters, “But you better take him back if I ask.”

“Of course,” Dr. Iplier replies, kissing Host’s cheek, and then kissing Yandere’s cheek so he doesn’t feel left out again.

After a few moments of rustling while Dr. Iplier prepares his tools, he holds his forceps just before Host’s eyes socket, the one yet to be cleaned.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

It’s not any less painful or uncomfortable than the first round, but it’s also not any worse. Host’s hands tighten around Yandere as he fights the urge to push Dr. Iplier’s hands away, and Host can feel him move around in response: Not squirming, but readjusting, trying to figure out why he’s being squeezed.

“Ost?” Yandere says. Host can feel Yandere leaning back against him to look at his face.

“The Host is getting his eyes cleaned,” Host says, wincing as he feels another clot come out.

“Why?” Yandere asks.

“The Host has no eyes,” Host explains, “And his eye sockets get dirty.”

“Why?”

“Why the Host has no eyes, or why his eye sockets get dirty?”

Yandere pauses, confused.

“Why??”

“The Host’s eye sockets get dirty when he uses his powers. Dr. Iplier has to clean them.”

“Why?”

“If he didn’t, the blood would build up and it wouldn’t feel good.”

“Why?”

“Sticky, dried blood doesn’t feel good.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t being sticky make _you_ feel bad?”

“No.”

“Ah. Well, it makes adults uncomfortable.”

_“Why?”_

“That’s enough, kiddo,” Dr. Iplier interjects, clearly holding in laughter. “You’ll be here all day answering his questions,” he tells Host.

It’s then Host realizes that Dr. Iplier is nearly done cleaning out his eye socket. He’s using gauze to soak up the last of the blood, and after that, all that’s left is to bandage Host’s eyes again. Host had been so focused on holding Yandere and answering his incessant questions that he’d barely felt Dr. Iplier cleaning his eyes.

“Did my idea work?” Dr. Iplier asks, cheeky grin obvious in his voice.

“Yes,” Host admits, sighing, “You’re going to be insufferable for the rest of the day, now.”

“You’re welcome!” Dr. Iplier laughs, removing the last bit of gauze from Host’s eye. “You’re all set, I just have to bandage you back up again. Are you good to keep Yan on your lap for a bit longer?”

“I suppose,” Host says, “He’s very calm. I’ve heard from others that he’s rather fussy.”

“He’s not too bad when he’s near me.” Dr. Iplier presses a pad of gauze over one of Host’s eye sockets, securing it with a strip of medical tape. “He just knows what he likes.”

Host grins in agreement, letting the conversation lapse into peaceful silence. Although this part of the appointment isn’t quite as nice as the first cleaning, he still enjoys it. Once the gauze pads are secured over his eye sockets (to provide an extra layer of absorption and a bit more cushioning), Dr. Iplier wraps a long strip of gauze over Host’s eye sockets and around his head. He’s always slow, methodical, careful not to trap or pull Host’s hair or create an uncomfortable wrinkle in the bandage.

“You know I’ll have to change this tomorrow morning, right?” Host quips.

“So?” Dr. Iplier asks, not speeding up, “You deserve comfortable bandages, even if it’s only for a day.”

Host just hums and lets silence fill the air again. Even Yandere is quiet, sitting placidly on Host’s lap, probably watching Dr. Iplier work. This part of the appointment is always the most peaceful, and Host enjoys it. He sometimes feels he could fall asleep like this, with Dr. Iplier’s skilled hands wrapping up his eyes and brushing against his hair or cheek every so often. He stays awake, though, and hears the snip of Dr. Iplier cutting the bandage away from the roll, finishing up by tying and tucking in the end.

“How’s it feel?” he asks, just like always.

“Perfect,” Host replies. And it’s true; the bandage is snug but not tight, smooth and comfortable. “You can take Yandere back now.”

“Alright,” Dr. Iplier laughs, scooping Yandere up and out of Host’s lap. “Say thank you to Host for holding you and answering your questions, Yan!”

“Thangyu!” Yandere exclaims.

“You’re welcome, Yandere,” Host replies, smiling. He jumps off the examination table as Dr. Iplier carries Yandere back to his playpen.

Host narrates to himself, watching Dr. Iplier in his mind’s eye. Dr. Iplier kisses the top of Yandere’s head and gives him a wooden block to play with, soft-eyed and smiling adoringly all the while. Warmth curls in Host’s chest to see his doctor so happy. They’ve both been around a while, at least for figments, and Dr. Iplier’s been through so much. Admittedly, some of it was Host’s own fault, and he cringes to think back on it. But Dr. Iplier is happy now, and he deserves it, more than anyone.

Before Host can think twice about it, he walks up to Dr. Iplier and hugs him from behind. Dr. Iplier laughs, surprised.

“Hi,” he says, craning his head around to look at Host, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Host answers, “You’re handsome, is all.”

“Well, thank you,” Dr. Iplier chuckles, turning around in Host’s arms, “You look pretty good yourself, especially now that your eyes are clean.”

“Are you trying to say I should leave now that my treatment is over?”

“No, just pointing out the quality of my work.”

“When did you get such a swelled head?”

“Hey, I was made by Mark, wasn’t…I…”

Through their playful banter, their faces got closer and closer together, and Dr. Iplier’s words die down as he notices. Host closes the last bit of distance with a kiss, and Dr. Iplier reciprocates without hesitation. His arms wrap around Host as Host’s arm travels up Dr. Iplier’s back to cup his cheek. When the kiss ends, they don’t pull away before kissing again, and again, Host’s hand raking through Dr. Iplier’s hair, and Dr. Iplier clutching Host’s trenchcoat. When they do finally pull away, they’re still so close they can feel each other’s breath on their lips.

“Speaking of swelled heads…” Host whispers with a sly grin.

_“Host!”_ Dr. Iplier hisses, smacking him in the shoulder, “Yan is _right here!!_ ”

“He’s not paying attention to us,” Host says, “He hasn’t looked up from his blocks.”

It’s true; Yandere hasn’t made a peep since Host hugged Dr. Iplier. Judging by his earlier protest at Dr. Iplier giving Host affection, he must not have noticed their kisses this time. Dr. Iplier looks behind himself to see Yandere concentrating on stacking his blocks, and Host narrates quietly to see the same. He also sees the blush coloring Dr. Iplier’s cheeks, how his eyes are still a little glazed, and he sees the smooth curve of Dr. Iplier’s neck as he turns to look at Yandere. Host can’t help but press his lips there, softly at first.

“Host! Ah–” Dr. Iplier squeaks as Host’s kisses along his neck quickly get rougher. “Host, we can’t–ah–not right here, not in front of– _oh_ –”

“Then we move,” Host says lifting his head from Dr. Iplier’s neck. “Your room is only around twenty-three steps from here.”

“What–!” Dr. Iplier turns red; Host doesn’t have to use his narration to know it. “How do you know that!? _Why_ do you know that??”

“It’s an estimate,” Host admits, “But we’ve made that walk before, Edward.” He grins. “Many times, if you recall.” He kisses Dr. Iplier’s still-hot cheek. “We won’t be subjecting Yandere to anything, and we’ll still be close if he needs you.”

“Okay, fine,” Dr. Iplier relents, “But we have to make it quick, alright? I don’t want to leave him alone for long.”

Host gives himself a moment to narrate Dr. Iplier’s still-flushed cheeks, his eyes cloudy with desire, his mouth half-open to pant, and the mark on his neck slowly turning red.

“We’ll see,” Host says, before dipping down and putting his lips to that mark again.

“Isaac, you insufferable–mm, yes, _there_ –” Dr. Iplier gasps, as they fumble through the twenty-three-odd steps to Dr. Iplier’s bedroom in record time. One of them somehow has the presence of mind to close the door behind them, leaving the clinic empty, save for one.

Yandere, still focused on his wooden blocks, doesn’t notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cleaning-out-Host's-eye-sockets part of this chapter is brought to you by the memories of getting my throat swabbed for strep testing and the pap smear I had a few years ago. Sorry Host ;w;


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yandere wanders away from his babysitter for the day after a squirrel, leading him to who else but King of the Squirrels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm a day late again u wanna fite about it
> 
> Anyway, I hope the cuteness in this chapter makes up for its lateness. What's cuter than a baby? A baby AND a squirrel!
> 
> Enjoy!

After the disaster that happened last time Wilford babysat Yandere, he’s surprised he’s allowed to watch him again at all. But today is lucky–for himself, that is, but unlucky for Dark (working), Chrome (charging) and Dr. Iplier (performing surgery on Bim, who managed to fall off the catwalk and wreck his leg). None of them can spare an eye to watch over Yandere today, so Dr. Iplier and Dark reluctantly entrusted Yandere to Wilford, but not without threatening him with a fate worse than death if he screwed up again.

Not that that means much to Wilford. Dropping an ice cream cone is a fate worse than death in Wilford’s book. At least if he dies he’ll come back; that ice cream is gone forever. But he figures he ought to listen and do better this time, if for no one but Yandere at least.

Wilford, though, hadn’t realized that babies were so slippery. He looks away for one moment (alright, maybe two, or several, or a couple minutes), and when he looks back, Yandere is gone.

“Bullocks,” he mutters, “Where’d you go, you slimy rascal?”

Yandere, already down the hall, is too far away to hear him. But even if he wasn’t, he probably wouldn’t answer anyway. He’s too busy crawling, chasing something.

A squirrel is scurrying up ahead of him, stopping every so often to adjust the acorn in its mouth, or take a nibble of it, or scratch an itch. Really, the stopping seems superfluous; anyone watching would say that the squirrel is only doing it to bait Yandere, who continues to chase the tiny beast with the unshakable determination that only babies seem to have. Yandere doesn’t think about any of that, only of catching the squirrel to pet its fluffy tail, which curls into an inviting question mark every time it sits. Several times, Yandere gets close, only for the squirrel to bound a few more feet away. When Yandere follows, the cycle repeats. Everyone must be busy today, because no one is in the hall to see Yandere’s pursuit of the squirrel.

Eventually, Yandere makes it down one of the stairwells, following the squirrel into the second floor. The squirrel seems much closer now; every time it trots away, it seems to shorten the distance between stops or let Yandere get closer to touching it. Yandere, though quite frustrated by now, is also desperately excited and eager to finally pet the elusive creature. It’s stopped again now, sitting there cleaning itself, pulling that pretty tail through its mouth to clean. Yandere’s so close now, so close to being able to put his hands in all that fluff, just a little further–

The squirrel suddenly leaps away just as Yandere’s hand it about to touch its back, but instead of going forward, it goes up, up someone’s leg, over their back, settling on their shoulders. Yandere had been so focused on the squirrel that he hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t the only person in the hall. The other person is concentrating, too, on the dozen or so squirrels crowded around, and on speaking to yet another person in front of him. The squirrel on his shoulder chitters in his ear, and the person turns.

“Agnes, what–” King of the Squirrels says as he turns to face Yandere. He blinks down at him. Yandere blinks back. “Um, hello.” Yandere reaches up towards the squirrel, Agnes.

“Wanna pet!” Yandere cries, making grabby hands.

“Is that Yandereplier?” asks the other person, Ed Edgar. His hat, full of tiny holes, is in his hand instead of on his head. “The heck’s he doin’ here??”

“I think Agnes lured him here, the little devil,” King muses as he kneels down to Yandere, shooting Agnes a look. Agnes doesn’t seem sorry.

“Well, I already got in trouble for tryna take care of him once,” Ed huffs, “I ain’t doin’ it again.” He looks around at the other squirrels in annoyance. “This ain’t over, ya varmints.”

“Hey, don’t call them that!” King yells, but Ed is already leaving. He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Don’t mind him; he’s just grumpy,” he tells the squirrels, before looking back to Yandere.

“Pet!” Yandere shouts, reaching for Agnes with renewed vigor. Agnes remains seated on King’s shoulder, unruffled. The other squirrels begin to crowd around the scene, chirping to each other, but Yandere doesn’t seem to notice.

“No, Yandere, you can’t pet Agnes,” King says, “She doesn’t like to be pet, she just likes to cause trouble.”

“No pet?” Yandere asks, suddenly subdued. He lowers his arms and his excited smile fades.

“No pet,” King says.

Yandere’s lip wobbles and his eyes fill with tears in the same moment King realizes he should not have said that, or at least said it a bit nicer.

“Oh no, don’t cry!” King exclaims. He reaches out to pick Yandere up. His hands hover for a moment, unsure of how to go about this. It can’t be too hard to hold a baby, can it? He already knows how to handle baby squirrels. He picks up Yandere as he starts to cry in earnest, moving from kneeling to sitting and putting Yandere in his lap. Yandere sobs, crushed that he doesn’t get to pet the squirrel after all that effort. Agnes leaves King’s shoulder, still unapologetic.

“Wanna _pet!”_ Yandere bawls.

“Shh,” King says, partly because he feels bad and doesn’t want Yandere to be upset, and partly because he doesn’t want to know what will happen if Dark finds out he made Yandere cry. He pets Yandere’s hair, just barely stopping himself from scratching it like he does to his squirrels, stroking it slowly instead.

Yandere is squirmy and unhappy in King’s lap until he realizes that he’s being watched by a dozen pairs of beady eyes. He still cries, but he lets King hold him and stroke his hair as he watches the squirrels stare at him, twitching their noses as they sniff the hair, some daring to step a little closer. King notices them, too, and thinks for a moment before speaking.

“You can’t pet Agnes,” King says, “But maybe you can pet a different squirrel!”

“Pet?” Yandere sniffles.

“Sure,” King says, wiping away a tear from Yandere’s cheek. He looks at the group that’s surrounded them. “Let’s see…Silas is old and grumpy, Homer’s nails are too long and he might scratch, Blanche is normally sweet but she’s been moody lately…Oh, I know!” He points out one of the braver squirrels, closer to the front of the pack. “This is Everett, he’s really sweet. You wanna pet Everett?”

Yandere nods, tears quickly drying as he makes grabby hands for Everett, who tilts his head and chitters.

“Hold on, now, I’m gonna hold him and you pet,” King says. He reaches out a hand to Everett, who jumps on immediately, tiny claws hooking into King’s sleeve. King brings Everett to Yandere, holding up his other hand before Yandere can grab the squirrel. Yandere whines and pouts.

“Hey, don’t cry again,” King says, “You have to promise to be gentle, okay? No squeezing or grabbing or slapping. Just nice gentle pets like this.” He strokes Everett’s back the same way he stroked Yandere’s hair earlier, long and slow (he figures Yandere doesn’t have the motor control for a scratch behind the ears). “Can you do that?”

Yandere nods, more vigorously this time, finally smiling again. He reaches out and puts a tiny hand on Everett’s back. He squeals as Everett reacts, readjusting himself under Yandere’s hand. Yandere moves his hand slowly down Everett’s back as King instructed, but can’t resist going past his back and running a hand through his tail. Everett bears it with as much dignity as a squirrel can have (which is a lot, in King’s opinion). He sits mostly still, tilting his head and sniffing at Yandere as the baby pets him. Eventually, he becomes brave enough to step forward in King’s hand and lean into Yandere’s face, sniffing his nose. Yandere laughs and tries to kiss Everett’s nose, but he moves back before he can. Yandere isn’t upset, though, he just giggles as he keeps petting Everett.

King, though ever vigilant in watching Yandere’s hand in Everett’s fur, can’t help but smile along. He and Yandere aren’t normally close; honestly, King is normally a little scared of him. Then again, he’s never known Yandere to be aggressive to his squirrels, which is more than he can say about some of the other egos. Despite Ed’s earlier annoyance (justified, if King is being honest, considering the state of Ed’s hat), he and Silver are the only egos who are not only nice to the squirrels, but actively seek not to harm them. Even the nicer egos in the building have shut a door on a fluffy tail or stepped on a paw once or twice. King’s squirrels are not shy about letting him know who’s hurt them, and King struggles to remember the last time that person was Yandere. Further, the squirrels sometimes report that Yandere has smiled at them as he walked by or cooed at them like one would a pet dog or cat.

Granted, Yandere is moody and prone to violence, not to mention in love with Dark, who would sooner toss every squirrel into a meat grinder than have one in his presence. The squirrels generally seem to be aware of this and give Yandere and his room a wide berth, which might be the only reason that King has never had a problem before. Or maybe Yandere has a soft spot for animals? Pets aren’t allowed in the building; King’s squirrels are the closest any of them will get to living with one. It wouldn’t surprise him if Yandere wanted a pet but wasn’t allowed one, and if he uses his infrequent encounters with King’s squirrels as a substitute. King has to wonder if Yandere’s current fascination with the squirrels isn’t already present in his normal form.

Suddenly, another squirrel (Marjorie) jumps from the floor onto Yandere’s shoulder. Yandere jumps but laughs brightly when he turns his head to see Marjorie’s tiny black eyes staring back. Other squirrels climb onto King’s legs around Yandere, and King realizes that all the surrounding squirrels have moved much closer over the past few minutes, encircling King and Yandere to look on with interest.

“I think they like you,” King says to Yandere.

“Me too!” Yandere exclaims.

King almost laughs, but he knows what Yandere means. The baby is clearly having the time of his life sitting in King’s lap and petting a squirrel.

“You know, it’s funny,” King says, “It seems like a lot of the fans think we’re friends. I guess they consider us both as younger egos, for some reason. But we’re getting along now, so I suppose they have a point.”

King’s never been able to wrap his head around that one. Well, that’s not entirely true; the goofy attitude he displays in his videos is probably why the fans think of him that way. And sure, King is goofy, and maybe a little childish at times, more idealistic than the other egos, even. But he’s still one of the oldest egos, beat out only by Dark and Wilford. He’s seen their group wax and wane, seen more egos appear and disappear. He remembers what it was like before they had this building, when it was half a dozen of them spread around Los Angeles, living their own lives but generally being worse off for it. King doesn’t regret living in trees like he did in those days, but he’s rather glad he has a bed to sleep in now. Yandere had it hard before he came to the building, too, King knows. He hadn’t gotten to meet Yandere until he was already healed from his brush with death, but he’d been told of his arrival, and of the fact that he might never get to meet him at all. Maybe there’s a bit of kinship between them there, in how it took them both some time and some struggle to get to a safe place.

“This is nice,” King says, “I wonder if you’ll remember this when you go back to normal.”

King sort of hopes he does.

After several minutes of petting Everett and rubbing his cheek against the squirrels that hop onto his shoulder, Yandere seems to tire out. He yawns, taking his hand away from Everett to rub his eyes. Everett, who got bored of the petting a while ago, takes the opportunity to leave. Yandere is too tired to notice, sleepily curling up in King’s lap.

“Hey, wait, you can’t sleep here!” King cries, “Why are you so tired, anyway? You didn’t do anything!”

Yandere doesn’t answer. He’s already asleep.

King sighs. That’s right, babies need naps. Yandere must have been overdue for one. King wonders who’s supposed to be watching him right now, who’s supposed to put him to bed. But it’s a moot point now that Yandere is sleeping in King’s lap. He’s sucking his thumb in his sleep, and King has to admit it’s a cute image. Not as cute as his squirrels, but close.

King decides that Yandere can’t just sleep on the floor (and King would rather not sit here for however long Yandere’s nap will be) so he starts to get up, mindful of the squirrels surrounding him. As soon as they realize he’s getting up, though, they move away, jumping off his legs and giving him space to stand without stepping on them. King gives them a grateful smile as he carefully gets up, cradling Yandere in his arms. He’s not sure he’s holding him right, but Yandere continues sleeping, and King doesn’t feel like he’s about to drop him, so that must count for something.

He carries Yandere to his bedroom, not really sure where else to put him. Can he sleep in a regular bed? He normally has a crib to sleep in, right? King supposes he’ll just have to keep an eye on him. He lays Yandere on top of the bed, not trusting himself to pull the covers back and hold Yandere at the same time. When he turns to pick Yandere up again he does a double take.

Apparently part of King’s cape was a little too close to Yandere, because the baby has some of it in his hands, bunched in his tiny fists like a security blanket. It’s very cute, but King’s cape is important; he can’t just let any old person play with it.

“Yandere,” King says, stern but quiet, “Please release my cape.”

No response.

“Yandere,” King tries again, tugging it a little, “Let go. That’s mine.”

This time, Yandere pulls back twice as hard and rolls over, pulling more of the cape over himself and wrapping himself up like a burrito. He whines softly but stays asleep.

King sighs. There’s no slack left in his cape; if Yandere pulls it again he’ll pull King with him. Unless King keeps still and doesn’t let him, but that might wake him up. King’s cape is important, but he’s not exactly keen on upsetting Yandere and potentially incurring Dark’s wrath. And, okay, Yandere’s pretty adorable, and King would feel bad if he woke up and ruined his fun.

King sighs again, not so put upon this time, and unfastens his cape from his neck. He lays it over Yandere like a blanket, and Yandere makes a quiet, appreciative noise at the feel of it over him. King smooths it out–can’t let his royal cape get all wrinkled, after all–and lets Yandere sleep while he leaves the bed to apply some peanut butter to his cheeks.

It’s not long after that someone knocks on King’s bedroom door, and King wonders if it’s someone looking for Yandere. When he opens the door, he sees he’s right, as Wilford stands before him.

“Hello, Wilford,” King says, neutral but wary. He’s too trigger-happy for King’s liking, and his squirrels seem to agree, finding places in his room to hide or scampering past Wilford into the hall if they’re particularly brave. Wilford ignores them all, though, as he addresses King.

“Hiya, King!” Wilford replies brightly. “I came to ask if you’d seen Yandere anywhere. The little scamp wandered off and I can’t seem to find him!” He doesn’t sound that worried, or sorry about it, King can’t help but notice.

“Actually, he’s here with me,” King says. He leads Wilford to his bed, explaining as he goes. “He followed one of my squirrels here so I let him pet one for a while, and then he fell asleep.”

When they reach the bed, though, King is rendered speechless. Yandere is still asleep, still wrapped up in King’s cape, but he has company now. A few squirrels sit around him, curled up and resting with him. Everett is there, too, curled up on top of Yandere’s chest. King smiles, warmth filling his chest.

“Is that your cape?” Wilford chuckles, ruining the moment.

“He grabbed it in his sleep,” King mutters, cheeks turning pink.

Wilford laughs entirely too loud, but fortunately Yandere only stirs a little and continues to sleep on. He then scoops Yandere up, cape and all, not minding the squirrels. Each one bounds away in a flash, chittering indignantly. Yandere sleeps through it all, mumbling unintelligibly and curling into Wilford’s chest.

“Well, I’ll be off!” Wilford says brightly. “Oh, and uh, don’t let Doc or Darky know about this, alright?” He winks.

“Hold on a minute, that’s my–” Wilford poofs away before King can finish. “–cape…”

A squirrel, Agnes, crawls up King’s pant leg and perches on his shoulder. King turns to look at her.

“What are the odds I’m getting that back anytime soon?”

Agnes chitters.

“Yeah, I thought so.” A pause. “This is your fault, you know.”

Agnes squeaks, offended, but King isn’t truly that bothered. He finds it hard to be annoyed about his missing cape when he remembers how cute Yandere looked all wrapped up in it, surrounded by his subjects.

It turns out that he’s right not to worry; his cape is returned a few hours later by a flustered Dr. Iplier, grumbling about how irresponsible Wilford is and how hard is it to watch a baby, really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, King's thoughts about how him and Yan are grouped together are pretty much mine. King's not a baby ego! He's a big boy!! He's seen some shit ;w;
> 
> Also, the last chapter miiiiight be a little late, because I haven't written it yet. Or started it. I ran out of chapters after Host's chapter and wrote this one in a week, but I expect the conclusion to take longer. So pls bear with me ;;;w;;;


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spell that turned Yandere into a baby finally wears off, and Yandere gets to find out what he was like a baby from the other egos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!! Finally!!!! Sorry it took me so long, but I'm glad I finished it before October. There's a specific reason for that, you'll see ;)
> 
> In the meantime, happy reading!

When Yandere finally turns back to normal, it happens just as suddenly as his first transformation. One moment Dr. Iplier looks away from baby Yandere to get one of his toys, and in the next turns to see full-grown Yandere standing there.

Everyone is relieved to have Yandere back to normal; it took so long that everyone had been a little worried that Yandere would be a baby forever. They’re glad Yandere can take care of himself again, and Yandere’s loved ones are relieved that their relationship with him can go back to normal. Chrome and Wilford are happy to have a friend and brother they can actually talk to again, Dr. Iplier is happy to have a self-sufficient son again, and Dark is glad to finally have his boyfriend back after all those weeks without.

Yandere, for his part, is happy to be normal. He doesn’t remember everything about being a baby, but he remembers bits and pieces. He recalls flashes of experience, sensation, memory. He wonders if this is how humans remember their childhoods; as quick snapshots in time. It’s these memories that lead him to egos he normally doesn’t talk to.

“Thank you for rescuing me before, Giniro-san,” Yandere tells Silver Shepherd one morning.

“Oh, n-no need to thank me, it’s what I do,” Silver stammers, though he can’t seem to help smiling. “How much do you remember?”

“Not a lot,” Yandere admits, “I remember being kidnapped, and I remember you finding me, and not really anything in between.” He pauses, thinks for another moment. “I remember flying, though!”

“Oh, yeah!” Silver laughs, “You really enjoyed that. Not many babies like being flown around as much as you did.”

“Yeah, that was fun!” Yandere giggles, “Although, I was wondering…whatever happened to the guys who kidnapped me?”

“Well, uh, Dark and Wilford…took care of them.”

Yandere grins brightly.

“Good! Saves me some trouble.”

“Y-Yeah…” Silver mumbles. He almost seems relieved when Yandere leaves not long after.

Another time, Yandere walks by Ed’s nursery and happens to encounter Marie again. He remembers really disliking her before, but now that he’s normal, the whole situation feels more funny than anything.

“Hi, Marie!” he says to her, and she jumps, surprised.

“How do you know my name!?” Marie yells.

“Because we’ve met before!” Yandere laughs, “Don’t you remember?”

Marie glares at Yandere cautiously.

“I don’t know you,” she insists, “Stop being weird or I’m gonna call Mr. Edgar!”

“Remember that baby Ed babysat a while ago? The one who you made cry?” Yandere asks. “Well, that was me!”

Marie blinks. Yandere can almost see the gears turning in her head; how she’s reconciling this impossible information with the fact that, yes, this person does look a lot like that baby.

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Marie cries, “You’re a baby!”

“Not anymore.”

Marie looks completely bewildered. She turns and runs off.

“Mr. Edgar! Yan turned into a grown-up!! Why can’t I turn into a grown-up!?”

“Dang nabbit, Marie–”

Yandere just laughs and continues on his way.

Later, he spies a familiar squirrel in the hallway. The squirrel seems to remember him, too, and approaches him cautiously.

“Hey there!” Yandere coos, kneeling down to the squirrel, “What was your name again? Allen, Evan–”

“Everett, actually,” says a voice, good-humored, “Close, though.”

Yandere looks up to see King of the Squirrels approaching him, and grins sheepishly.

“It’s pretty hard to remember specific details,” he mumbles.

“Hey, don’t feel bad!” King laughs, “Everett doesn’t seem to mind.”

He doesn’t; the squirrel is right in front of Yandere now, sniffing his outstretched hand.

“You can pet him whenever you want,” King says, “As long as Everett’s alright with it.”

“Really?” Yandere asks, eagerness shining in his eyes.

“Of course,” King replies, “These guys don’t just let anyone pet them; I think I can trust you with him.”

Yandere looks at Everett, and scratches behind his ear with one finger. Everett leans into the touch and squeaks happily. He’s not the Shiba Inu that Yandere has begged Dark for a hundred times over, but he’s still pretty cute.

“Arigato,” Yandere says to King, smiling gently at Everett.

Yandere later finds himself being followed by the Jims, who are apparently interested in filming a conclusion to the documentary Yandere vaguely remembers being a part of. Not so interested that they’ll approach Yandere directly, though.

“Stabby Jim appears to be grown again,” RJ stage-whispers as he and CJ trail several yards behind Yandere down the hall, “We must be careful, Jim! We don’t want to end up on the wrong end of his stabby!”

“You mean my katana?” Yandere asks pleasantly, not turning around or changing his pace.

RJ yelps, and CJ manages an involuntary squeak.

“Run Jim!!” cries RJ, and the pair scramble away as Yandere laughs.

He does get a quiet moment with the Host later, however, reminiscing on being in the room for his bandage changes and interrupting his tender moments with Dr. Iplier.

“I definitely remember getting jealous of you,” Yandere giggles to him from a chair in the library. “I wanted Shishi all to myself.”

“The Host recalls,” Host replies over a cup of tea, smiling gently, “Apparently the fact that Dr. Iplier spent nearly every other waking moment with you wasn’t enough.”

Yandere shrugs amicably, then pauses to think.

“You know,” he says, “Even though I remember all those times when you were in the clinic getting your eyes cleaned, I can’t remember what your eyes look like. I must have seen them…”

“The Host considers it a stroke of luck,” Host says quietly, sipping his tea.

Most interesting to Yandere, though, is talking to his loved ones about the experience, recalling how they reacted, and occasionally scolding them about it. They’re the ones he goes to first, and goes to most often, to learn about what happened when he was a baby and get context for the memory fragments in his mind.

“You were a pretty terrible babysitter, onii-san,” Yandere tells Wilford one morning as they’re eating breakfast together in one of the communal rooms. Yandere’s memories of Wilford’s misadventures in babysitting are predictably fuzzy, but he’s been told what happened enough times already by others. In response to Yandere’s words, Wilford gasps dramatically through a mouthful of bacon.

“Slander!” Wilford cries. “I was a great babysitter!”

“You lost me twice.”

“Excuse you, I lost you _once!_ I… _outsourced_ you the other time.”

Yandere snorts, almost choking on the toast he’s eating.

“Is that what you’re calling it? I think Yami and Shishi would call it “dumping me on someone else” and “shirking responsibility.”” Yandere makes light air quotes with the hand not holding his toast.

“Yanny, my boy,” Wilford says, “I haven’t cared what Dark and Doc think about my behavior since…hmm…” He wiggles his moustache in thought. “About 1976. Give or take ten years.”

“Shishi didn’t even exist yet back then, Wil.”

“See, you get it!”

Yandere laughs again, shaking his head. He knows how to get a reaction out of Wilford, though, and slides back in his chair with mock despair.

“Oh, but nii-chan, did you really not love me enough to watch over me?” Yandere asks, throwing his arm over his eyes. “Did you really dislike me so much that you’d give me to someone else?”

“Hey now…” Wilford starts, bewildered by Yandere’s sudden mood change.

“I’m so crushed…” Yandere moans, sliding all the way off his chair and slumping over to Wilford, “My nii-chan doesn’t love me, he doesn’t want to deal with me anymore…”

“Yan–”

“What am I gonna doooooooo??” Yandere wails, throwing himself across Wilford’s lap, face-down. “How am I gonna survive without my nii-chan??”

“Oh, calm down,” Wilford huffs, rolling his eyes, “Look at you, so dramatic.”

“Well,” Yandere says, craning his head up to look at Wilford, “I learned from the best!”

Wilford bursts into laughter at that, guffawing uproariously as Yandere drops the act, laughing along with him as he gets up from Wilford’s lap.

“To tell you the truth, kiddo,” Wilford says, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, “You were just too much trouble as a baby. Adorable, of course, but you got into everything! And you just can’t reason with a baby.” He smirks. “But you know, you’re just as difficult grown up, aren’t you?”

“Niiiiiii-chaaaaaaaaan…” Yandere whines, slumping against Wilford’s shoulder.

“Exactly what I mean,” Wilford insists, “You troublesome little rapscallion!”

Before Yandere can whine again, Wilford stands from his chair and grabs Yandere in one swift motion, scooping him up and twirling him around. Yandere shrieks and laughs as he’s spun around, so fast that he’s still dizzy when Wilford stops.

“If I’m still troublesome,” Yandere says, “Am I still adorable, too?”

“Of course!” Wilford laughs, planting a kiss to Yandere’s forehead. He pauses. “I suppose what I mean to say it that you haven’t changed at all, except we don’t have to be watching you all day anymore.”

“What “we”?” Yandere giggles, “You pretty much admitted that you didn’t do much watching.”

“Alright, you ungrateful little–”

Wilford spends the rest of the morning alternating between tickling Yandere relentlessly and squeezing him in tight bear hugs and swinging him around. Yandere lets him, laughing and shouting and putting up token protests all the while. Wilford does eventually let him go, kissing his forehead again before poofing away to his studio.

Yandere talks to Chrome, too, as the pair are sitting in the control room playing Mario Kart.

“I’m getting deja vu,” Yandere says as he plays, struggling to get Princess Peach back into second place against the high-leveled NPCs. “Did you play Mario Kart with me when I was a baby?”

“Sort of,” Chrome answers, in first place by a wide margin. “I let you sit with me and watch me play a few times. I didn’t watch you that much, though, it was mostly Dr. Iplier.”

“Makes sense,” Yandere hums. He glances over at Chrome with a grin. “Was I at least fun to babysit?”

“I hate babies,” Chrome says, deadpan, “You were…tolerable.”

“You wound me, Aka-kun,” Yandere says, feigning sadness, “Everyone else says I was adorable.”

“That’s because they’re human adults, who are predisposed to finding babies endearing. I’m not a human, and I have no reason to find babies cute.”

“I’m pretty sure Kiiro-kun thought I was cute.”

“That’s because Oliver’s weird.”

Yandere laughs, then groans in frustration as Princess Peach drives over the finish line at fourth place. Chrome smirks, and Yandere whacks him in the arm with his controller.

“Don’t do that,” Chrome says, mildly annoyed, “You’re gonna break the controller.”

“You’re not gonna scold me for hitting you?”

“I don’t think I need to explain that hitting people is rude, but if you really _want_ me to…”

“Alright, baka!” Yandere laughs, leaning against Chrome as he goes through the game’s menus to start another race. Yandere pauses. “You’re being pretty light on your teasing today. What’s up with that?”

Chrome stops pressing buttons on his controller, and gets an odd look on his face. He knows what he wants to say, but isn’t sure how best to say it.

“I guess…I don’t know,” he mutters, “Remembering when you were a baby, it’s just…do you remember anything else about me from being a baby? Aside from me playing Mario Kart?”

Yandere considers. He _does_ remember something else, but only vaguely. He has an undefined memory of being held against Chrome’s red t-shirt, of crying in his grasp, but he can’t remember what the tears were for.

“Kinda,” Yandere says, “I remember at one point you were holding me while I was crying.”

“But you don’t remember why you were crying?”

“No…why was I crying?”

“I…yelled at you for trying to touch something dangerous.” Chrome shrugs, but the movement seems tight. “I just feel sort of bad, I guess.”

“Well,” Yandere says, “You were trying to stop me from getting hurt, right? You don’t have to feel bad about that!”

“Yeah,” Chrome mutters grudgingly, “I guess so.”

Yandere suspects there might be a bit more to the story, but he knows that Chrome is unlikely to tell him anything if he presses the issue. So he lets the subject drop, but stays leaned against Chrome’s side until his body relaxes. Yandere soon forgets the odd moment as he wins the next couple races, and he and Chrome get back into their friendly jeering and bantering.

Yandere talks to Dark, too; sits on his desk and asks him about how he took the situation, ignores him when he asks Yandere to get off his desk. He doesn’t seem too annoyed about it, though, because he answers Yandere’s question anyway.

“I’ll admit it was strange,” Dark says, “I was never quite sure what to do with you whenever I had to look after you.” He grins. “You still seemed to like me a lot, though.”

“How could I ever not like you?” Yandere asks, leaning towards Dark to kiss him. Dark does more than let him; he moves into the kiss, hand creeping across the desk towards Yandere’s thigh. Yandere pretends not to notice. “I remember being really happy whenever you gave me any attention. I guess it was like…” He thinks. “You know when little kids get crushes on, like, their teacher or their babysitter? Even though they don’t know what romance and stuff are yet? They just think they’re nice and want their attention all the time? That’s kind of how it felt.” Dark chuckles a little at that.

“That makes sense, I suppose,” he says, “I don’t normally like babies, but you were very cute.”

“Thanks~!” Yandere giggles. “So you kinda felt like I did, then?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it a “crush.”” Dark looks away for a moment, awkward. “I didn’t feel anything stronger than fondness for you. You were a child, after all.” He smiles at Yandere. “I’ll admit I missed you a bit while you were transformed.”

“Really?” Yandere asks, putting his arms around Dark’s shoulders, “You missed me?” Yandere never passes up an opportunity to hear Dark talk about how much he loves him, and Dark’s smirk suggests he realizes that.

“Of course,” Dark insists, turning his head to kiss Yandere’s arm, “I missed having you around to talk to.”

““To talk to”? Is that all?” Yandere’s tone is playful.

“Oh, far from it,” Dark murmurs, lust creeping into his tone. “Would you like me to be blunt?” He finally moves the hand on his desk to touch Yandere’s thigh, the tips of his fingers just barely under his skirt. Yandere shivers with goosebumps and leans close to Dark.

“I’d like you to stop talking and show me what you mean,” Yandere whispers with a devilish grin.

That’s all the encouragement Dark needs to stand up out of his chair and push his hand all the way up Yandere’s skirt. His other hand goes to Yandere’s back to pull him close as he kisses him, going from Yandere’s mouth to his neck, biting and sucking.

“Yami, ah,” Yandere gasps, already overwhelmed and holding onto Dark’s shoulders for dear life, “Yami, slow down, ohh–”

At that, Dark does stop, but only to push Yandere down onto his desk with a hand spread over his chest, aura creeping up against Yandere’s clothes, chomping at the bit to pull them off.

“You asked me to show you what I meant,” Dark says, “And I intend to show you exactly how much I missed you.” He smirks again, but his eyes are more intense than before, his whole posture radiating power. “Isn’t that what you want?”

Yandere gazes up at him, slack-jawed and starry-eyed, still overwhelmed yet eager for more.

“Yes,” he gasps, “Show me, senpai.”

Yandere doesn’t leave Dark’s office for a long while, and when he finally does, he’s bruised and disheveled, lovestruck and humming to himself as he walks down the hall.

But out of everyone Yandere knows, he’s most curious to know what Dr. Iplier thought of his transformation, of having him as a baby. Dr. Iplier’s his dad, after all, and he already enjoys babying Yandere enough anyway. He’s getting a mild gash treated at the clinic when he asks about it.

“Hey Dad,” he says, “What was–ow–what was it like when I was a baby?”

Dr. Iplier isn’t stitching his arm; the cut isn’t severe enough to need it. He is sanitizing it though, and somehow Yandere still isn’t used to that particular stinging pain. Dr. Iplier continues to work on Yandere’s arm, thinking as he does.

“It was…interesting,” he says, then laughs a little at himself. “Descriptive, huh. But honestly, it was…really nice, in some ways. But different. But also not that different.” He grins, looking up from his work to meet Yandere’s eyes. “You still had your normal personality, that’s for sure.”

“Really?” Yandere asks, curious. Most people didn’t have much to say about what he was like as a baby, other than that he was cute. Now that someone’s going to tell him, he’s eager to know.

“Definitely,” Dr. Iplier answers him, holding the edges of Yandere’s cut together with one hand and putting a butterfly bandage over it with the other. “You were just as affectionate, always wanting to be held or hugged. God forbid I talked to anyone but you, you’d get so jealous!”

“I do kinda remember that,” Yandere admits with a sheepish grin. “I really hated it when you hugged or kissed the Host.”

“We could tell,” Dr. Iplier laughs, “You were a troublemaker, too, just like you are now.” He pauses. “Well, not quite as much. There wasn’t as much trouble you could get into as a baby.” His voice has gone wistful.

“What do you mean?” Yandere asks.

“I mean…” Dr. Iplier chews his lip for a moment, choosing his words. “You were too little to hold a sword, or spar in the dojo. And you were too little to want to go out at night and get into fights. You were too little to go out at night at all. You were perfectly happy to just stay here at home all day with me and the other egos. I never had to sew you up or give you blood transfusions, and I never had to worry that I might need to. You were…always safe.” He wipes away the last drops of blood from Yandere’s cut. “It was a relief to not have to worry about all that.”

“Dad…” Yandere mumbles, guilt sinking into his stomach. “I didn’t…I mean…” He looks away. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey now, don’t be upset,” Dr. Iplier murmurs, gentling taking Yandere’s chin in his hand and turning his head back to face him. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. And you know, there’s something I’m relieved about now that you’re back to normal.”

“What?” Yandere asks, still moping.

“You’re not as helpless as you were as a baby.” Dr. Iplier’s voice gets a little quieter. “Do you remember at all, when those guys kidnapped you and held you for ransom?”

“Yeah,” Yandere says, “Mostly when I first got taken and then when Giniro-san brought me home, not much in between.”

“Well, let me tell you,” Dr. Iplier says, “I was beside myself when I realized what had happened. I was a complete wreck. I was so terrified for you because I knew you were helpless. You were a baby; you couldn’t defend yourself or escape. There was a real chance I could lose you.” He manages a smile and cups Yandere’s face in his hands. “You may be a champ at getting into trouble, but you’re even better at getting yourself out of it. You’re so strong and resourceful, and I might worry about you, but I know you’ll always come home in one piece.”

Yandere smiles back, giggling as Dr. Iplier kisses his forehead.

“So you’d rather have me as a grown-up than as a baby?” Yandere asks.

“Yes,” Dr. Iplier replies, “But I wouldn’t be upset if this happened again. Then again…” He grins a particularly playful grin. “…You’ll _always_ be my baby.”

“Daaaaaad,” Yandere groans, but he can’t help but laugh as Dr. Iplier kisses his forehead again, one, two, three times, before finally letting him go.

“Alright, I’ll quit embarrassing you,” Dr. Iplier chuckles, “You’re free to go, kid. Your arm’s all set for now.”

Yandere jumps off the examination table, but doesn’t leave right away. There’s another memory at the back of his mind that he’s curious about.

“Hey, Dad?” Yandere asks, “I have a weird question about when I was a baby.”

“What is it?” Dr. Iplier asks.

“Did you, um, ever…sing to me?”

Dr. Iplier’s face somehow both lights up and turns an embarrassed shade of pink in the same instant.

“You remember that, huh?” Dr. Iplier laughs a little. “I did, a few times. After that kidnapping ordeal, you kept waking up in the middle of the night crying, and it got harder and harder to console you. Finally I ran out of ideas and sang to you one night, and it cheered you up and put you right to sleep.” He smiles fondly at the memory. “I ended up singing to you a few more times after that when you cried, and you seemed to really love it.”

“I remember being held and hearing your voice,” Yandere says, blushing to match Dr. Iplier’s still-pink cheeks. “I only kinda remember the tune, it was like…”

He half-hums an incomplete melody, straining hard to recall it. But the notes he does remember ring true, and Dr. Iplier joins in, recreating the song.

“Oh!” Yandere gasps as Dr. Iplier hums. “It was “What a Wonderful World,” wasn’t it?”

“Yep,” Dr. Iplier replies, “I didn’t expect you to remember it that well, I’m kind of impressed.”

“I really don’t remember it that great,” Yandere says. He tilts his head. “Maybe you cooould…sing it again sometime?”

“Ah, I don’t…” Dr. Iplier ducks his head, embarrassed. “I’m no singer, you don’t need to hear me singing again.”

“But Dad,” Yandere whines, pouting, “You sang for me before and I liked it!”

“You were a baby. I knew you were gonna like it no matter how it sounded. I’d feel awkward doing it again.”

“Daaaaaaaad…” Yandere sighs, flouncing to Dr. Iplier and leaning into his side, “You don’t have to sing right this second, just, eventually! Please?”

“Yan…”

Yandere lays his head on Dr. Iplier’s shoulder and looks up at him with the biggest, saddest eyes he can muster.

“Please, Papa? For me?”

Dr. Iplier sputters, and it takes all of Yandere’s willpower to keep a straight face.

“Alright, alright, I’ll sing for you again eventually,” Dr. Iplier sighs, “Happy?”

“Yep!” Yandere perks up immediately, back to his sunny, happy self.

“You’re a spoiled brat, you know that?”

“Whose fault is that?”

“That didn’t sound like a denial.” Dr. Iplier ruffles Yandere’s hair. “If I’m gonna embarrass myself for you, then I expect something in return.”

“What?” Yandere asks, intrigued. Dr. Iplier grins.

“You have to let me show you all the photos I took of you as a baby, and deal with all my gushing.”

Yandere laughs, a bit awkward but mostly genuine.

“I guess that’s fair. Bring on the baby pics, then!”

That’s how Yandere ends up sitting next to Dr. Iplier on his bed, scrolling through photos on Dr. Iplier’s phone. It’s strange for Yandere to see himself as a baby, but he has to admit he was as cute as everyone says. He’s surprised the spell that transformed him took away his hair dye in the process, but it doesn’t look too bad in the photos. There’s photos of him playing, eating, sleeping, and wearing many, _many_ different outfits (“Why did you buy so many? It’s not like I’ll ever be able to wear them again.” “I know, but look how cute you are in this one! And this one, and this one…”). Most interesting are the ones featuring Yandere with the other egos. There’s RJ and CJ holding microphones up to him, Silver hovering in the air with Yandere held securely in his arms, Yandere toddling after Marie, Yandere surrounded by curious squirrels, Host reading him a book, and even a series of photos showing Bing and Bop trying to teach Yandere how to skateboard.

Naturally, Yandere ends up with a few favorites: The one of him sitting in Chrome’s lap while Chrome plays Mario Kart (“You were totally enthralled by the screen, it was pretty funny.”), the one of Wilford holding him up in the air (“He actually tossed you a few times, almost gave me a heart attack! You didn’t mind, though.”), and the slightly blurred one of Dark kissing his cheek, clearly taken from afar (“I don’t know how he didn’t catch me taking this, but it was worth the risk.”).

But then they come to one of the last photos taken, one of the only ones that appears to have been taken at night, and one of the few that feature Dr. Iplier. It’s of Dr. Iplier standing before a crib, cradling a sleeping Yandere in his arms. Yandere’s sucking his thumb in his sleep, and as cute as it is, Yandere’s favorite part of the image is the serene, adoring smile on Dr. Iplier’s face. One of his hands is tucking a dark curl of hair behind Yandere’s ear. Yandere can’t help but recall every time he ever felt like a burden, like there was no way Dr. Iplier could care about him, and how it compares to the simple sweetness in this photo. Does Dr. Iplier always look at him like that, and Yandere just doesn’t notice?

“You like this one?” Dr. Iplier asks, humor in his voice, breaking Yandere out of his reverie.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “It’s…really nice.” He pauses. “But wait, who took it since you didn’t?”

“Host did, he was with us that night.” Dr. Iplier’s expression softens as he remembers. “He took this of me while I was putting you to bed. I didn’t know until he showed it to me afterwards.”

“Host took this photo?”

“Yes…?”

“He took this really nicely framed and well-timed photo??”

“Yes, Yan, what are you–”

“How???”

A long pause. Eventually, Dr. Iplier shoves Yandere playfully and Yandere breaks into laughter.

“Don’t be rude!” Dr. Iplier shouts through his own laughter. “Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he used his narration to make sure he got the best photo possible. I’m glad he did it, though.”

“Me too,” Yandere says, smiling big.

As sweet and fun as it seemed to be for the other egos, Yandere is glad that he’s not s baby anymore. He supposes he’s glad it happened, though, if for nothing else than the memories. But also for the knowledge that the other egos still protected him and cared for him at his most helpless, and, if he’s honest, his most useless. After all, what’s more useless than an infant who can barely even walk or talk? Yet the other egos still liked him, still wanted him around, and his loved ones still loved him and cared for him. Chrome still played Mario Kart with him, Wilford still scooped him up and spun him around, Dark still kissed him, and Dr. Iplier still comforted him when he cried.

Even if the other memories of being a baby eventually disappear, Yandere hopes that the memory of the unconditional love he received will lift his spirits forever.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this, leave some kudos or a comment! I'm always happy to get either. You can also find me and my fics on Tumblr at juju-on-that-yeet, feel free to talk to me there, too!
> 
> Hope to see you next week! <3


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